Wowwwwww darien i totally totally loved this keep it up hun you are so awesome....im a fan!!!
it was long and i couldnt take my eyes OFF it....it captured me all along...and what a sad story...beautiful
Wow darien, this was really amazing, I loved it! it was long but it kept me completely gripped from beginning to end, it told a really sad story which I felt I could relate to, I love the way it finishes off, very interesting... well done...
Man... This is very deep, sad and moving. The flow kept me gripped and I read it smoothly to the end without any interruption. This is a little different from what you write, and I must say it's good different. Superb writing my friend. Oh and good luck with those exams :)
Your poem is amazing!! im sorry that she put you through so much pain. i can relate so much to this poem coz i was like sally i had a boyfriend then we broke up and i met sum1 else but i realised that i loved my ex and now we are together. maybe she really does love you, she just made a mistake. you should follow your heart i knw its scary but u can only learn from wat u encounter.
my best wishes for you in the future
Wow, that was so beautiful yet dark. I can can fathom the things running through your mind at that time. I too keep a diary and have entires of things such as those which you write about in your poem. It's so sad but I've been there emotionally before. I hope things are working out ofr you and your girlfriend. Get back to me on your condition hopefully it's a joyousone...
Aw.. This is really sad. But really good. I did a poem like this too.. But.. It was bad lol.. Even though it was pretty long, it was really good. You knew what to write to keep the readers attention! So 5/5 =] && Thanks heaps for the comment, I don't have any music for my songs, But i'm working on it cause I know a few people where I live that are in bands aswell. So yesh! So thanks again =]
The diary format worked a treat on this. It was so raw and real thats what I love about your poetry. I come across many male poets stuff on this site but you wrote so beautifully. The last two lines were so powerful and so very sad.