This was a good poem but next time add periods or commas to break it up. That way the readers can get the flow of the poem. It kind of sounded like this poem was a little rushed. Try reading it out laud and see what works for you. All and all you did a great job. I give you a 5/5

Hey this was really good. i think it needed to be longer but it still kept me focused on it! =)

Great Poem!

Dam, its a really good poem. Really great you have some good stuff. xo xo 5/5

Amazing poem it made me shudder....thanks for commenting on me too

Wow it was really intense . . . i lik it (=

Nice write. it was interesting. i liked that one it was different than what i usaully read on here. keep up the good work! 5/5 always
Kate~

:D:D me likes!!

I honestly don't know what to say... It's well written & beautifully penned, but it's so sad and painful...5/5

An amazing writer.... i like yr expressions, read so in a sorrow.

Wow this was powerful!
it was beautiful also.
a wonderful write.
keep up the great work!!

-ashlei.

A stunningly put poem i must say. telling the story about the girls death. making you want to know her. and stop the death yourself. only leaving a single picture. 5/5

I would have to agree with ashily on this one, stunning, and beuatiful. Sorrow beautifully worded and it dose in fact make me want to stop the death and get to know this girl and her life. I am moved.