Your poem was really well written. It didn't go into much detail but just about broke my heart. The only thing I would suggest is maybe changing this bit:
I still can't seem to face
The fact we're not together
Cause I'd always thought
We'd be together forever
^^The two together's kind of take imapct from each other. Maybe the last line oculd be, "We'd always be forever." or something like that. But it's up to you.
That seriously touched my heart, i'm going through the exact same! Good use of words, you rhymed them perfectly with correct meter and none of the lines feel forced or out of context. Great job, i know what you're going through, and it hurts A LOT!
good luck and great job with your poetry and your future.
Wow.. Great poem.. It flowed very well I could even say it flowed perfectly! It caught my eye... Very emotional poem but I think some of the best poems are written out of pure emotion.. awesome write! =)
WOW! that brought back alot of pain i keep hindden away believe me sweet heart i know what you are talking about and how you are feeling for me the pain never went way but like i said it took me 2 yrs to put it behind me but not a day goes by that i dont think of him and wonder why hes with her when we were suppose to be together forever in my mind the poem was awesome i loved it!
That poem is really sweet and it kinda reminds me of some probs a had wit a guy...
But eventually u will get over them i promise.
You will find someone elz who loves u more than u love them
well got to go love ya bye
please return the fav!
Avril Lavenge once wrote something like this that touched my heart like your poem just did. I think it was something like "Everyone just broke my heart...something something...I'm a teenager so I really care about how sad I am...something something...I can be more depressed than you."
This is a really really good poem..
and i am going through exactly what you're going through, at this present moment.. it hurts so much, to see the person you love, walk away with another person's hand in theirs. i completely understand..
nice work.. keep it up. xo