Try proof-reading your work.. there are some errors in it. its good how u used ur experience to make a poem. nothing makes a poem more deep then using your emotions and experience.

please check out my poems too

Hey I like it but u might want to read it through and fix a few mistakes but it was really good. Give it to him grl.
Jennifer

There is a lot to be improved in this particular piece of poetry (I am not sure I would even call it poetry). This is more like a ranting, an expression of all your emotions... but poetry involves linguistic craftsmanship. If you want to improve your poetry, first learn how to write proper English with appropriate grammar and spelling. Then think about ways in which you can make your ideas stand out, make them unique! I hope this helps.

Hey this peom is one that i wrote from my boyfriends view....

Its great.. u shuld give it 2 him...