This is the Place..

by Brigitte   May 26, 2006


This is the place where I once stood proud
And this is where my bleeding heart fell
This is the place where we shared our first kiss
And this is where you said farewell

This is the spot that once brought joy
And now brings brutal pain
So many crystal tears I’ve cried
Trying not to go insane.

I stand now on the ground
Where we first exchanged, “I love you’s”
Where we danced our fist dance
To “Romeo and Rebecca” by Blink 182

This place used to hold a secretive magic
But the magic was used up
Or maybe it was our fault
We stopped filling the love up

This was our special place
Which always brought comfort
But maybe it isn’t this spot that changed
But really our love run short

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by robin milford

    I enjoyed this poem thanks for your comment on my poem "mixed up world" when i wrote that poem i was very confused I am guessing that is what makes it confusing to the reader

  • 17 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    "Where we danced our fist dance"
    'first' not 'fist'
    ~~~
    "But the magic was used up
    Or maybe it was our fault
    We stopped filling the love up"
    I wouldn't say 'up'/'up' is a rhyme really, so I'd figure out a different word to use.
    ~~~
    "But really our love run short"
    the phrase should probably read:
    "But really our love that has run short"
    but I'd shorten that to:
    "But really our love that's run short"
    since that would not only help the rhythm, but would be grammatically correct.
    ~~~
    "To “Romeo and Rebecca” by Blink 182"
    Loved that line. Such intricate detail and purpose... it not only fulfilled a rhyme but made the entire poem yours, and only yours. This is an original poem, not just a standard one about loss, but a personalized elegy to a place and a love that may no longer exist. I also really liked the last line (as amended slightly by me).

  • 17 years ago

    by Natalie

    Very sad poem. Yet, Very good. I loved it =D The flow was alright, And the rhyming was okay too. But I did like the message you were sending across. Awesome job!! 5/5

    `Taleee. xx.

  • 17 years ago

    by Marlena

    Hey darling that is a great poem keep on writing

    much love,
    Marlena

  • 17 years ago

    by Jessica

    Aww.. that is so sad.. this really showed your feelings and you let all your emotions out.. it flowed well and was just so sad.. excellent work! 5/5! lotsa lovee!
    jessy xox