Stunning write, easy to see that this began as a piece of prose, but the use of such splendid imagery means that it easily makes the transitition to poetry by the use of some well placed line breaks. I think this poem might possibly be more powerful if it were broken into stanzas, one reason being the use of repetition in the end of the poem; the way that it mirrors the beginning, maybe it's just me but I think this would work better with a little separation. Alternately alter the line break so that the lines
"begged for an escape more
permanent. with a blade
and wanting god she found it
hard to believe in any secret"
end up as
"with a blade and wanting
god she found it hard
to believe in any secret"
I just think that this would help to emphasise the cyclic nature of this poem. Anyway, enough rambling, what I meant to say was great write, 5/5. Beautiful poem x

I loved the line 'scratching hope into paper'...I just liked it all around...great feel to it. 5/5
~Jules