Comments : Sapphires Saved Me

  • 17 years ago

    by libby

    Great job again, of course. Here's my best suggestion: I'd try to use the word "mosh" unconventionally somewhere in the poem, just as a little clue to what you're actually talking about, because I don't think it would be clear at all if I didn't know the story (maybe you don't want it to be clear, but I feel like it would be more interesting if it was). And even if you did it, it would still be very subtle. I do like that you didn't shove it in our faces. Keep it up!