Another great piece

This seems to have drifted from the points at the beginning of the poem a bit. Maybe find a way to tie it in. Also watch your grammar.
Im= I'm
Youre= You're
Simple things that you should concentrate on in writing x

Im a Broken Fallen Angel!!!!! this is a awsome poem!!! its really good!! its i lik it alot!!!! a 10000000/5 for me!!!

Wow.. Amazing!!! It really suprised me when it started talking about the marriage. But you did such an amazing job on this! I loved it. I don't even know what to say.. It had the perfect story line, and I don't usually like long poems, but this one really drew me in. Great job on this! 5/5 Keep it up!

Very intense and interesting part two. Great job. Though there are some areas that the flow was a bit odd.

Thats really good! the 1st one and the second!!! the flow was good! and you got the talent, never stop writtin! 10/10 :D

keep it up!

Wow!! i think you should cobine the two poems!! who cares if it would be really long! I really enjuyed reading this!! it was a very beautiful piece of work!

Oh, wow! I can REALLY picture this poem, very descriptive and detailed. Again, word choice could be a bit better, but I'm not 'counting off' for that, just noting. I really like the ending, but who wouldn't? It's great! 5/5. An awesome ending to the first part.

Sorry for not commenting on part 1, just felt like it was better to read all of it. the fact that I read all of it and didn't get bored at all should say almost everything! excellent written, spetacular word use!!!! well done

I dont think its at all cristian (Riakoth) i think its amazing, well done!

Amazing work from you yet again, keep it up!

Well done!

~Murder.

Hey, and amazing end to the first part, again Well written, Near perfect flow and metre, another amazing poem, from you,
Love
~She Died Screaming

Wow!!!!! Just as deep and scary as the first one. This poem is completely amazing. You used great imagery when writing this poem. It's captivating in a scary way. but it's excellent. I loved reading it and you should really think about turning this into a screen play . 5/5
Keep up the excellent work.

Letty

Again...wow...just wow. The flow and imagery were perfect yet again and i was interested all the way through. I have nothing bad to say about either part one or two, these are truly excellent poems, you have a lot of talent. Another 5/5

Ok, the story is interesting but there some serious grammatical errors that need re-writing and also the flow gets so clogged at times it's hard work to push through and carry on. Also this poem is so very long when it doesn't need to be.
You could re-write/edit this poem and say everything you need to in less than half the stanzas. I'm not saying you should, I'm saying it's something to seriously consider that when it comes to writing future poems. You need the reader to be captivated by every single word, reference and rhyme, so make each one count.

You have plenty of raw talent, but you need to explore poetry in it's various forms and write about differing subjects to broaden your ability.

You gave me two poems to read (death part 1 and 2 being one poem) and Trapped in Time is no different from Death in many many aspects.

What else do you have to offer?

Bret

I embrace his hate and lies, my fate, in one breath.
I cannot escape this; my name is Death.
I am immortal, I can only hate.
This is my future; God was too late.

My FAV stanza. Beautiful. ^_^
Just as good as the first poem. if not better.

Wow, the imagery is amazing! It's long, but I got into it fast. I love this poem-
I kinda feel inspired to write about hell now. Dreaming of screaming, lol. :[

5/5!

Amazing half of this peom. but what i caught in this is that you wanted to be dead but you were already dead so i don't know what that make since or something so yeah that's what i caught but anyways this was an amazing half like i have said in the beginning you did an amazing job.

keep it up. keep on writing. love always && forever.

I must say that this is the longest poem i've read on poems-and-quotes. It is very good, not once did I feel like it lacked anywhere. Just amazing! 5/5

Wow.. i LOVED the ending.. it was perfect.. again good rhymes and great emotion.. the flow was better in this half than the first and in this line

"He taught me everything, from handling pain, to sing.
Now he has me all alone and giving me this ring."

idk why you said to sing.. you never mentioned anything about singing to let out your pain.. idk maybe its a forced rhyme?

Aww. that was cool. i love two parters. keep it up bub

much love and many kisses,
bex