"Forcing her to leave herself left behind."
I felt like having the word 'leave' and 'left' in the same sentence was redundant, I'd just say 'leave herself behind'
~~~
I thought you did a good job with the rhyme scheme, AABB is a hard scheme to do well.

I couldn't tell if there was more to this than what I saw... which was the juxtaposition of a force of nature (a storm) and the human mind (of a mentally ill person, probably). The title gives a bit of a tip, as storms are something that strikes, but in this case the storm is insanity.

If there was more to it you can PM me and let me know, I'd be interested.

Good poem.

WOW, amazing poem, verry well written 5/5

Haunting especially the first line in your final stanza. I'd just suggest taking out the left in the first stanza and combing it through for some unneeded words.

WOW! this was excellent! i dont know how many times i have said that, but all your poems truly are amazing.. i really loved this one! it was so metaphoric and the descriptions you used were wonderful.. wow.. i think this has to be one of your best poems.. but i cant really tell, they are all so unique, and all so brilliant! another AMAZING write! 10/5

Omg wow i lvoe this poem .its so amazing. this is the first poem i have ever read of urs and i jus absoultly love it. its so good. i can sorta relate to it too. its soooo great. it flows well and the word choice is so good. i am jus in awe of this poem. i wish i could write like that. ur so talented. keep writing i wana read more of urs. 5/5
take care
angie

This was awesome :P all I gotta say. lol

5/5

(sorry bout the shortness, too)

Beautiful As always,
I have always loved reading your poetry and this is exactly why
Beautifully done
...mia...

"As the crystal clear rain falls from the sky,
She drowns in her sins and says a goodbye."

^^my favorite part^^ ....i can really relate to this, Taleee. i think it's really good. =)

keep up the fantasticle work, m'dear.

E>

I loved it.
All i have to say. Loved it, Loved it, Loved it.
xx

Short but very nicely written. I can relate to the second stanza first line. Thanks for entering my contest!

Gr8 work! congrats on gettin 3rd in that 1 contest! u were really good!

An awsome poem!! this has great emotions in it.
5/5

Kazza

Short, a good poem! i love to read sad ones for some reason! it cheers me up! no idea why! keep it up! 5/5

That was really good. Very moving and deep. your a very good writer.

The very intense flow expresses tragic emotion, which makes a well written dark poem

I really love the word choices and usage here. I'm a big fan of using unconventional words in unconventional manners. :)

Whoa, I can't believe I missed this one. I guess it happens when you don't get to use the computer in the office. Oh well, this was a great poem. The rhymes were great, and the emotions you put in were awesome. Keep on writing!! woohoo!

I love this poem, it's so sad, and I like the way it's written. I liked the description of her thoughts, her life, and what she was about to do.

Everything about your poem is original!5/5

Keep writing

XoXo
Gaby

I love this poem. it was well written and very moving

Well done, again! For me Best line goes to - "Her worst crime of all she's soon to commit." because it drives home the closing.

Good writing - DM