Faded

by Juls   Jun 20, 2006


My story is written in a unique way
Some make fun, others back away
Written on my wrists and legs
As a river of blood flowing away

Scars remain
Hidden by voice
Covered by a smile
Deserted by choice

My life is written on my skin
How I didn't make it through
Thick and Thin
Tears of crimson shatter

Scars remain
Hidden by voice
Covered by a smile
Deserted by choice

Poems of my life
Are written on my wrist
I got mad and didn't want to exist
Crying to my pillow craving my skin

Scars remain
Hidden by voice
Covered by a smile
Deserted by choice

Faded and light
I still see the sins
Like black charcoal
Popping out of my skin

Scars remain...Life destroyed

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Liquid Dreams

    Good poem! thanks for the comment... but it wasn't my sister who died in the car accident... it was my friends...one of them died in the car accident.
    ~rhi

  • 11 years ago

    by Tainted Beauty

    "Some make fun others back away"

    I didn't understand this line at first, maybe put a comma between "fun" and "others" it would make it flow better.

    Also "Deserted by chose" It should be choice:)

    Other than that, great poem, i loved the story of it and I'm sure a lot of people on this site can relate to everything said in this, I know i can. I liked the rhymes, they were subtle, but they were there. Great work.

    --Steph

  • 11 years ago

    by Darien

    That was an alright poem. My only suggestion is you should use punctuation. "Commas, periods, colons etc." It messed up the flow at times.

    "Some make fun others back away"
    [You would need to add a 'comma' after "fun" so people would pause]

    Anyways was a good poem.

  • 11 years ago

    by Samantha Hollywood

    Juls -
    Great job! The first stanza rhymes kind of confused me, as you rhymed "away" with "away" but also threw "way" in there, so the other line was kind of excluded. A bit confusing.
    But otherwise, great job. The flow was great, 5/5

    Samantha Hollywood

  • 11 years ago

    by Arcane Blondie

    This is really sad---I also had the same question as .x.Natalie.x. I kindof thought that the ''chose''was supposed to be ''choice'' Everythime I reached that stanza I read choice because thats what sounds right. Beside that it flows very smoothly. You have a lot of talent! 5/5 stay strong--