Oh my goodness, this is excellent! I Loved this...It's my favorite out of the two. It has a lot to say and is so dark and mornful; I just simply love it. Great job!

xDarkSuicidex 5.5

This is an amazing poem, I really enjoyed reading it. It's so well written, and the theme is so original.

The first time I read it, I didn't understand it entirely, but I read it a second time and I discovered more things about it. I really imagined everything you described, and I even felt as if I was standing there.

My favorite part of your poem is the beginning, though I really liked the last two lines, it's the perfect ending.

I've never written an Ottava Rima, but yours is beautifully written. That's another great thing about your poem.

Great job! 5/5

Keep writing.

XoXo
Gaby

Beautifully done. the rhyme throughout is not forced and flows remarkably well. your choice of words is perfect - and are are a stark portrayal of the dark emotions you want to convey.

great piece of writing

peace
shobhana

A very descriptive poem, but then again, that is expected from you. I remember your nature poems. You really knew how to describe things. You bring out every detail possible and it makes it so easy for the reader to picture what is happening. This one was very morbid. I could sense it from the opening lines. A well written poem, very dark indeed.

Wonderful Ottava Rima. You worded this piece wonderfully. Very strong. Keep up the great work! 5/5

Natalie``

Wonderfull rich imagery. Perfect flow and word choice. You have a great descriptive talent. Keep it up 5/5

I enjoyed reading this poem! i try to write an Ottava Rima poem but it didnt work, but yours is soo good! i like it

5/5 keep it up

Thanks for the comment on my poem it means alot to me!

How true your words are.
never will I get tired of reading this over and over again.

Another favourite and another 5/5