Comments : They Tease

  • 17 years ago

    by Bill Turner

    Wow! This is an incredible piece. Having lived this scene out many a time in my life, you captured its raw power and essence. Great poem.

    I would change one thing for flow, but that is just my humble opinion...

    These lines:

    Secret trysts in rented rooms
    They will chance their lust
    And meet their doom

    I would change to:

    Secret tryst in a rented room
    They will chance their lust
    Meeting their doom

    Then again, what the heck do I know. Great poem!

  • 17 years ago

    by Connie

    Hi Loretta,

    First I must say the title of your poem just made me have to read it!!!! I really think this was very well written.

    Connie