Wow!!this piece created so many images in my mind...you desribed your point so very well...the flow and rhyme were pretty good! I liked your choice of wording...very well written...i enjoyed reading it!5/5
You kept up a pseudo-rhyming scheme at the ends of lines throughout except for the last stanza, that was kind of distracting.
Very descriptive and written well. My only complaint might be that the focus is so much on the descriptive nature that it's difficult to tell what's really going on in the poem without reading through it a couple times.
It's good once you get past that, though, and see what's underneath. :)
"(And hush snow falling upon an aging tree)"
['hushed' because the word 'hush' is a verb. You are using it as an adjective]
Wow Kaylee, that was a great poem. You really described everything well. Very well thoughtout poem. Time, hmm, there are a lot of things I can say about time. I really liked the point of view you had on this one. It seemed really subtle. Good stuff.
Very nice, Kaylee. I'm glad you decided to write another one, cause I love your work. This one was great though, Loved the last stanza, thought it stood out alot, cause you wrote about a grandfather clock. Excellent vocab as per usual. No flaws at all. =) Keep it up! 5/5
You use many descriptive words in this which for the most part is good, but I must say in places it distracted me from the meaning itself. All the beautiful images just made the message hard to keep up with if you know what I mean...maybe it was just me not reading clearly enough.
Hmm...the second line of the first stanza really caught me out, I had to reread it several times...maybe rewarding of this line could be an option?
As I've said your grasp on imagery words is very good and you did portray ideas in original ways, which was refreshing to read.
Thanks for sharing, please keep writing!!