Comments : Memories (Point Roberts)

  • 17 years ago

    by TRAGiC BEAUTY

    THAT WAS A VERY AWESOME POEM! iT HAS A LOT OF MEMORiES FROM EATiNG TO LAUGHiNG AND MAKiNG NEW FRiENDS;; GREAT POEM!

    _______HiS FRiEND*

  • 17 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    That was really cute, too.

    "The water was cold but the mood was just right
    Basking beneath the suns light"

    This bit here sounded a bit off, because there's a lot more syllables in the top line than the bottom. If you were to change the bottom line to:

    "Basking beneath the sunshine's light" it would sound a bit better.

    Overall: really good.

  • 17 years ago

    by goddess-glamourpuss

    Another sweet write. I guess you need to be there to understand some of the references but it sounds like fun.

  • 17 years ago

    by twisted reality

    Aww it's cute. I liked the memories in this. It brought back some of my own.

    The flow was ok, but could be fixed in a couple places. If you made some lines as long as others, it would work out more. Keep it up. =) 5/5 xoxo

    Samantha

  • 17 years ago

    by disturbed one

    Very good...5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by AwakeInDreamin

    Emily i love your work and you already know that but i jsut cant stop reading this poem since i miss it too. i love you emily