Untitled (Unforgiving)

by Live, Laugh, Love   Aug 24, 2006


I'm lost and confused,
Dazed and bruised,
Broken and torn,
Try to get up
But only to be pushed down more.
The storms coming....
All alone,
Sit and cry,
Lay and die.
Beat myself down.
Before I feel the pain.
Why does life have to be this way?
Cry myself to sleep,
Dream of where I want to be.
Tomorrow...
Cry some more.
But now lay and bleed,
Bleed because I care,
Bleed because I love,
All the pain in the world,
Can now flow through me.
As I lay
Still
Silent
Unforgiving

0


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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Kristina

    Aww wow this is a really sad poem you have written. but you did a great job on it also. i can relate to everything you said. wonderful job. 5/5

    ~Kristina

  • 17 years ago

    by Minkus

    I say 4/5 on this one-it was good, but there were a few parts that could have been better. I felt like the end was awkward/abrupt and there were a few places where the punctuation might have conveyed a stronger, more precise feeling if it had been different. For example, I don't think the period after "Beat myself down" was necessary. Overall, it was a good poem, though.

  • 17 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    As I lay
    Still
    Silent
    Unforgiving

    I like how yu ended it (:
    This is good . I love the emotions expressed .
    ..ღ__MiNDYY

  • 17 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    Very Good, I liked:
    I'm lost and confused,
    Dazed and bruised,

    Bleed because I care,
    Bleed because I love,

    As I lay
    Still
    Silent
    Unforgiving

    These were my favorites.

    For your title you should put it as
    Bleed or Unforgiving or Storms
    I Don't know giving you some ideas thats all

    :)
    Great Job
    5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Angie

    Hey, great poem! I liked the style you used, and the way you ended your poem with single words. Interesting. Full of emotion and nice flow. Keep it up! And thank you for your comment on my poem, meant a lot =)

    --Angie xoxo