Comments : Mirage of Trust.

  • 17 years ago

    by Jessica

    Awh.. You okay hunny? We're all here for you okay? This was great! The emotion was clear and strong, and I loved the words you used! Some of your flow was a little off but you can fix that by adding a word or taking one out here or there.. For example :

    Are taking their toll.
    ^ Maybe you could add in "slowly" before "taking" to make it flow better..

    Nicely done sweetie! 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    Great poem. thoroughly enjoyed it...i agree with jessy. but overall great job!Jpoet*