Comments : Temptation or fate

  • 17 years ago

    by David Marshall

    I thought it was a good poem...but maybe if u put it into stanzas..like.....

    The temptation of ending it all,
    being so big then shrinking so small.

    Feeling mixed emotions inside,
    just wanting to run away and hide.

    Hoping the day comes when you can escape,
    is this temptation or fate.

    that would be an example of how to set it up...im not saying this will get u moer views..but it will intregue ppl more and let the person understand it more.

  • 17 years ago

    by nobody truly knows me

    Wow...awesome poem...i loved it...you put so much emotion into this short poem...truly wonderful.

  • 17 years ago

    by Tiffani

    This is a VERY wonderful poem! like fallen angel said, it is fukin awesome that there is just so much emotion is such a short poem... i think ud like my poem Panic Attack and like david said (not that its gonna help the comments or rates but) if u put them into 2line stanzas like these lines

    feeling mixed emotions inside, just wanting to run away and hide.

    hoping the day comes when you can escape, is this temptation or fate.

    like this

    feeling mixed emotions inside,
    just wanting to run away and hide.

    hoping the day comes when you can escape,
    is this temptation or fate.

    i personally think that would make it look a lil better but thats just my opinion!! anyways, VERY very, good poem, i loved it!

    ttyl,
    take care,
    lots of luv,,,

    T!FF@N!

  • 17 years ago

    by .x.HauNt.x.Me.x.

    I really like this :)
    really meaningful and powerful in such a short poem
    gets your message across
    keep it up xoxo

    you might like my poem hidden behind this mask. . i think its my best yet and i really wanna get some opinions and suggestions for it :)
    xoxox