Comments : As he lay sleeping

  • 17 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    Its a good piece i work i think, but there's one tiny, tiny, tiny thing i think you should change. IN the forth stanza, i think you can write 'flaw' instead of 'flaws'. It will still make sense, plus it will keep a stronger flow. Other than that tiny, tiny, tiny little thing, i thik the poem was great. Love, depth, and a good use of wording...what's not to like?

    Brad

  • 17 years ago

    by Geoff Clemence

    So truly and deeply in love. You express yourself in that you leave no doubt in how you feel. Really nice poem Cimara...