Comments : Deeper Than A Bottomless Pit

  • 17 years ago

    by Lu

    Because I was jealous.
    And there I was. Here I am.
    The girl who once had everything,
    But ended up with nothing.
    ^^
    What an incredibly sad ending Sarah .

    It pierced my skin like a thousand needles,
    And my blood was drained...
    Then my flesh flapped over,
    And I fell.
    ^^
    So much truth be told in the reality of what jealousy can truly do . And I think every person can say at one time or another in their lifetime it is an emotion they have definatly had.

    Thank-you for sharing Sarah !

  • 17 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    Wow, that is an intresting poem, i think you have done a great job here, i really felt the pain in the poem, great job and 5/5 from me.

  • 17 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    And grab any star I want.
    ((I think it would sound better as 'wanted'.))
    It pierced my skin like a thousand needles,
    And my blood was drained...
    Then my flesh flapped over,
    And I fell.
    ((These lines are amazing... The description is wonderful and flawless.. Wow.))

    I really liked this. I disliked the ending a bit, forgive me. It took away from the poem, for me. The over all poem is very well written though with a good message to it. I liked the flow and I usually hate unrhyming poems. Good job.

    xDarkSuicidex 5.5

  • 17 years ago

    by Misstress

    Sad poem, I bet you have hard time doing this..
    I could relate to this very well.
    Your words captured the emotions present while you were writing..

    God Bless!

  • 17 years ago

    by Darien

    I agree with Dark Suicide, it does sound better if you write "wanted" because you wrote the word "seemed" in the previous line, and you want to keep the tense the same.

    Wow, that poem blew me away Sarah, it was truely amazing. Very deep and full of emotion. You had some really good lines and verses in this poem. Well done! You are definitely CC&P material ;)

  • 17 years ago

    by Tormented

    It pierced my skin like a thousand needles,
    And my blood was drained...
    Then my flesh flapped over,
    And I fell.

    {What A great stanza!}

    Loved this poem..even if it didn't rhyme it was still great...the title was very catchy! and i Loved the ending..Great write!
    Thanks for Sharing

    Keep Smiling
    -*-Tormented

  • 17 years ago

    by Sweet lig

    Amazing its really great i really love the flow w/ this poem all lines are clear very impressive. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Audrey

    Sounds like it was a damn good thing for everyone else.........right review. the premiss of the poem is cliched to the point of boring. To make it good your writing would have to be great. It wasnt bad, but your not Poe. Id say keep writing, you may have a knack for it yet, but its underdeveloped.

  • 17 years ago

    by Megann Lee

    Wow. I like this poem it's true in so many ways aswell. Heh. It's amazing. You did a wonderful job writing these piece of work. *Two Thumbs Up*

  • 17 years ago

    by Lady Vengeance

    Very sweet. very real. and Very powerful. I think jealousy is one of the biggest killers. ur a very good writer and u asess serious issues extremely well. i appreciate that and love ur work. rock on.

  • 17 years ago

    by Tammie

    You did an excellent job of this! The story of it all and the idea behind it was unique and clever. The last three lines are perfect, they end the poem with power and each word fitted in perfectly. Excellent write. =] 5/5 Definately.

  • 17 years ago

    by tiffany

    Nice. i like it =)

  • 17 years ago

    by Natalie

    Wow, Sarah! This was amazing!! I really really liked the ending, it was great! I can relate a little too, which is why I like it so much more. Very nice job! Keep it up! 5/5

    Natalie``

  • 17 years ago

    by Liz

    Wow. That was so amazing. I dont know what to say. It's crazy how just one ounce of jealousy can destroy everything...I love the idea you portrayed in this poem. And the ending was great! 5/5

    [[ Poetess ]]

  • 17 years ago

    by Letty

    Awww...This is so sad...You really know
    how to put your words on paper without
    making a reader loose his/her focus
    from the main topic of the poem...You
    have extradinary talent..5/5..Keep
    up the excellent work..
    Love
    Letty

  • 17 years ago

    by BlueDreams

    Awesome penned...though sad but well express emotions,...

  • 17 years ago

    by DaddysLittlePrincess

    WOW! AMAZING! great job it reminds me of me once upon ago

    -Mel

  • 17 years ago

    by Ney ney

    Awesome!!! i know how you feel... like you cant dig any deeper.... love it... plz comment on some of mine.... xxx

  • 17 years ago

    by Bertha

    Wow.
    this is such an amazing poem.
    i cant even describe it with words.
    it flowed so well!

  • 17 years ago

    by Sedona Thomason

    WOW!!!