A very interesting poem. I find that one or two of the lines don't rhyme very well, but the overall idea is very strong. Good job.

Wow....im impressed your a great writer

+.+ dw. i have times when i don't like my poems too, but then other ppl really like it. confuses me that. lol. it's good 3/5 +.+

It was pretty good
i really liked it

I really like that poem - the ending i got confused by though. otherwise excellent!

Flow is much better in this poem. I love the first stanza, the first line especially. It has a strong beginning and an equally strong ending. The second stanza has notably good word choice... 5/5

I think its pretty good for just the top of your head.. thats what most of my poems are like lately but this one is better then like all mine! so good jobb! 5/5

Darkness entwined all around her,
When that horrible day occured.
From her cheek, a single tear fell,
As she said her last farewells.

maybe

Darkness; entwined around her,
When that horrible day occured.
From her cheek, single tear fell,
As she sighed her last farewells.

just a suggestion really good though by now your prob bored of me saying your a good writer lol but you are xxx alex xxx

This is such an amazing poem. It totally spoke to me... It gave me and image of a small song bird lying on the ground with rain pounding down around it. So visual...

Saweetos...
Black as a dying thistle...

I don't care how many people rate this a 4, i love this poem, 10/10!! =)

its so touching.. some people just don't appreciate good, honest poetry. the fact that that poem came straight of the top of your head indicates ur true talent.

keep writing, and write down all spontaneous thoughts such as this poem. =D
xxx

Hey, i thought this poem was really good, and the flow is consistant. the only part i didnt like as much as the rest was the last line:

"She concludes her song with a broken wing."

a poem as good as that needs a better ending i reckon.

would you be able to r/r/c my newest, "To Fill the Silence"? i also have two dark poems, i reckon youd be able to connect to them if you have a spare second to read them.

on the whole that was a really good poem, keep at it! :)

I don't know, maybe I'm a little tired or something. But I actually understood this poem better then the first one I read of yours. I can see the hidden message behind this one. And yes this is very dark. The rhyming here is a lot better and the picture you painted was perfect. I loved this poem and think that it's one of your best. 5/5

Keep up the Exellent work.

Best Wishes
Letty

It is the ending with this poem I did not like... but, I am not sure why.
Keep writing.

xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex 4.5

Another really great poem.. but only suggestions is to maybe add a few more stanzas its very brief..it seems like you didnt tell engough of the story