I read your poem twice, and i felt it. I could relate the feelings. I must say, the feeling is quite well expressed.

I would encourage you to write more on this topic. I would encourage to write about a specific event that led to this feeling in another version of the poem.
Good work! 4/5

"She stands beautifully disguised,
Exhaling invisible pain.
Covers herself with shallow warmth,
quiet, proud, and brave."
This quatrain reflects the pain of someone seeming to be true to her own nature. Maybe too proud to give up her individuality, and feeling somewhat coldly rejected. Yet bravely accepting her fate

She looks around her,
Laughter and smiles passing her by,
Holds to her secret tightly.
As the existing light starts fading,

I believe ‘the existing light’ is used in this poem as a metaphor for love
The darkness is growing as she feels disconnected

The dreaded moment arrives.
Inner cold escapes in the form of tears.
And she silently screams
"Don't you know I'm hurting?!"

I can only imagine the trauma of the awareness that no one seems to notice, understand, or care that she cannot feel the warm acceptance of attention, or affection

But they'll never listen,
Her pride won't let her speak,
And she'll end up unnoticed,
forgotten, unloved, alone.

Beautiful sad penned you potray here, flowed well with beautiful emotions..... if this just only an imaginations, everything is said on above, maybe, i don't know.....but if this is real, all i can say this was an experiance of life...

Wow, hun! This was really sad and emotional, and I could really relate.

And she silently screams
"Don't you know I'm hurting?!"

^^This one time, I was trying so hard to let someone know how much I was hurting... but they literally walked away... and under my breath I remember saying "can't you just tell how much I'm hurting" ..So I really liked those lines. And infact this whole poem. Reminds me alot of what I've been through. Nicely done! Keep it up! 5/5

Natalie``

Hey gaby! this piece is awesome! its sad, but even in its sadness and pain it is beautiful. thanks so much for your comment! it means a lot! OH! i think i just sent you an email, so what i was gonna say i think you might have already read ^_^ bye!

-sarah

Aww.. I Love this poem. Some of the lines that really stood out to me were:
Exhaling invisible pain.
Great imagery there. It was very creative. Like she was constantly in pain, everytime she breathed, yet nobody could see it. Amazing job on that. And also
But they'll never listen,
Her pride won't let her speak,
That is so true. So many people hold in their problems because of pride and I've tried to write about that before but it just didn't work out. You did an amazing job on this poem. I loved it! 5/5

That poem is like my life anthem. Great Job! Your an awesome writer! And i mean it!

Omg, wow, I love the way you described her pain!!

Omg cheers very very good!

Excellent job!

But they'll never listen.
Her pride won't let her speak,
She'll end up unnoticed,
forgotten, unloved, alone.

This stanza speaks volumes
Take care Cindy

Very good
similar to my poem beautifull broken
<3 keep up the good work

I can relate to this. The piece is excellently written, full of emotions. Imagery and choice of words are superb.
My favorite stanza is:
-She looks around her,
Laughter and smiles passing her by,
Holds to her secret tightly
As the existing light starts fading.-
You're very talented poet!

This poem is one of my favorites. I can relate to this. You did a great job writing this. 5/5