Red roses and violins

by Elynnka   Nov 8, 2006


A beautiful young woman came home late at night,
She entered her room - roses on her bed in the moonlight;
A sweet melody infatuating her ears – an unknown violinist,
She looked outside her window – such a marvelous artist.

The cold moonbeams outlined his figure in such grace,
His black long hair gently caressed his pale face,
His dark eyes were searching towards her window –
Were those roses from him? No, that couldn’t be so.

They beauty of his songs was alluring everyone around
But he left so suddenly disappearing without any sound
Leaving his “public” in admiration – her eyes scouting everywhere,
But she couldn’t find him; magically he was no more there…

The morning sun’s warm golden rays gently woke her up,
At lunchtime she was found drinking tea from a silver cup,
The red roses she’d found on her bed were withering in a vase
As something in her head told her to get out of that place.

She went for a walk through the silent forest near her town,
Flowers smelling so pretty – butterflies adorning her gown,
With each step she felt someone was watching her, but whom?
She didn’t want to find out so she ran away to her room.

Where these all things happening only in her head?
She couldn’t stop thinking about the roses on her bed -
How did they get there? The door was locked how’d they get in?
And who was that violinist that had dazzled her with his grin?

Wrapped up in her thoughts she didn’t notice the sun went down,
The dark and silent night fell over the once murmuring town,
So she went outside looking for that mysterious man from yesterday,
But she didn’t find him anywhere which left her in dismay…

While going up the stairs she heard strange noises in her room,
So she hastened her pace, but the man escaped in the gloom;
Red roses sitting on her bed – mesmerizing songs outside;
Would someone tell me who is this man that plays with pride?

This little game went on for days and days – until one night
Instead of lying on her bed red roses were held by the violinist tight,
He looked at her with piercing eyes, stepped closer to her with a sneer,
She didn’t know how to react as he softly said “Hello my dear…”

“How did you get it?” her heart racing, almost beating out of her chest
“Out of everyone in this world, it’s you, my love, that I like best,
Your skin so soft and delicate, can’t help but breed desire within,
Your kind calls it lust and denies it, but I’m in love with this sin…”

He dropped the roses on the floor and grabbed the lady by her waist
“Everyone is hunting me so, I’m sorry dear, but I must make haste”
Without waiting for approval he sunk his teeth into her silky skin,
She clutched her hands around him as he comforted her with his grin.

She fainted in his arms and he took her into the deep dark forest
He watched her struggle as her frail body stepped into final rest
“Don’t worry my love; soon you’ll no longer feel this mortal pain,
Nor remember who you really are and from where you came”

She was now banished from mortals, thrown into the arms of doom
And damned to always walk and live under the merciless gloom,
And this gorgeous fiend still plays the violin in the full moon night
Alluring their victims, severing their life through one deadly bite…

**Not one of my best, but I hope you enjoy it anyway =)**

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by .K.i.T.t.Y.

    I liked the story line. that was nice, but the wording wasn't at as good. the beginning started out nicely, but the wording stopped flowing as much afterward. and i found a typo:
    They beauty of his songs -- THE

  • 17 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    They beauty of his songs was alluring everyone around
    ((The, not 'they'))
    Your kind calls it lust and denies it, but I’m in love with this sin…”
    ((I LOVE this line.. It is amazing. Nothing less.))
    And this gorgeous fiend still plays the violin in the full moon night
    Alluring their victims, severing their life through one deadly bite…
    ((A rather poor ending with a cliche rhyme.))

    This is very interesting. You think you are reading the tale of two secret lovers, but then such a shocker at the end. I find that the end disappointed me abit.. I was waiting for the chills to creep in when I knew what the story's full affect was, but I did not recieve such chills.
    However, this is well written. I felt your vocabualry could have expanded a bit in some places and more describing could have been done. (Since it was already long, why not longer? Lol.)
    I also felt that in some places there was cliche rhyimg...Which really ruined the effect for me... But, it is still very interesting to read.
    A wonderful story told, all in all, and it does deserve a five.
    My suggesion: Expand your vocabulary a little.. the cliche rhyming will go away with that as well. Describe a bit more.

    I think that is it. Wonderful job. Hope this isn't too harsh for you.

    xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex 5.5

  • 17 years ago

    by Daenerys Stormborn

    Hahaha, wow. I am blown away, a poet on this site with some true talent! You have incredibly original ideas and you are excellent and expressing them. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Wasted Fake Smiles

    Wowie..that was amazing. you really told an amazing and captivating story. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by sweet melody

    Wow that was AMAZING! If that isn't your best work then I don't know what is! I loved it, it had me mezmerized throughout it all. Keep up the good work. :)
    -{*Lucy*}