Comments : A Birthday Wish

  • 17 years ago

    by Jackie Marie

    Awww that is so cute. I bet you she loves it. =] You did an awesome job on this. You are a really good writer. That is why you ahve been on my favorites for a year now. Hehe. =]

    >black&&blue

  • 17 years ago

    by Aussie

    Aahhh, that's sooo sweet:)

  • 17 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    Wow, nicely written poem, well done like always. keep it up.

  • 16 years ago

    by Brigitte

    That was really sweet.... I loved it, and I'm sure your sister did as well.....A lovely and unique write about a girl that I'm sure is very special to you.

    In times of trouble we stood together
    We made a bond to keep forever
    ^^although it's a good line, the whole bond thing seemed a bit cliche.

    Her soul so pure with angel's wings
    She guides me through difficult things
    ^^^ I think the word 'so' should be taken out....It's a really good sentance but maybe "her soul pure with the touch of angel's wings" would sound better.

    I'm wishing you so many miles away
    ^^ this didn't really make sence... maybe somthing like "I wish for you, from many miles away"