Comments : Ebony Sins

  • 17 years ago

    by BeautifulxMess

    Once again. WOnderful! Loved it! Keep writing because I've read more of your poems then I have with only one poet. Your poems are awesome!
    I got new poems check them out.
    5/5 God Bless

    ~*Tay*~

  • 17 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    This poem is great! I can't choose which stanzas i love the best... You really did a great job. I like your vocabulary... and your rhyming again... I'm jealous... AMAZING Job!

    5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Darien

    Wow Jessy, this was a fantastic poem! It had a great flow, and the rhymes were amazing! Very nice imagery, well, very creepy, but poetic! I liked how you described everything so vividly "ruby blood" , "blushing cheeks", "burning skin". That was very well done. Way to go cyber wife, you've written a very good poem and I really enjoyed it!

  • 17 years ago

    by ashley

    Keep up the good work i really like readin ur writing it keeps me attentitve and its intense 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Allison

    Excellent.......I think that onto in the first stanza, third line should have a space between the works, but it was great. *5/5*

    Alyson

    P.S.
    Keep up the good work.

  • 17 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    I feel this to be a stream of consciousness channelling the horrific suffering of both the tortured and the torturers........chilling and effective.....

  • 17 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    This was a very powerful read. Really dark and this drew my attention straight away. The lfow was great, and it worked really well.The imagery made me shiver. The description was great and it worked wonderuflly through the poem. You kept my attention i like that about it. The hrymes work uite well. One hting i noticed was the lack of punctuation. I htink if you used it some places it would of made us read it how you read it. this would be great! But still even without punctuation i really really enjoyed htis. It was excellent! Keep it up! xx

  • 17 years ago

    by Deana

    Excellent rhymes and flow I wish I could write dark poems ,But so far they`re just not in there someday I`m going to try it. great job. thank you for the comments.

  • 17 years ago

    by Kaila

    OOoOoO I love the words you chose to use in this poem...It was really neat...I thought it was pretty original too..I loved this one can't wait to read the rest...

  • 17 years ago

    by David

    Guilt swiftly eating away insides
    Ruby blood suffocating veins
    Blushing cheeks burning skin
    Souls held down with chains..

    the words you used in these lines was amazing. words i haven't even thought of to use. and you used them so well. fitted right in.

    5/5 David

  • 17 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    The flow and rhyming here were spot on. You are an amazing writer, for real. Your stuff is amazing, and always a pleasure to read. :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Victoria Rainey

    Plese stop calling me hunny....it kinda creepy

  • 16 years ago

    by honeypot

    Superb!

    This has so many mental images for me, that really really works.

    kepp up the good work!

    xx

  • 16 years ago

    by Sydney

    Ohh gave me a picture in my mind. Choice of words were really good. Nice job overall XD.

  • 16 years ago

    by Dallas McNamara

    Wow! I really really really like this one. The pure though and emotion that this poem witholds is amazing. Great job and good use of vocabulary. Very nice yet again. Maybe we can exchange ways of writing and our thoughts of poetry.

  • 16 years ago

    by Startle Me

    To be quite frank with you, dear.
    I've read this poem twice and it made no sense to me.
    It was as though you were just.. well babbling.

    I liked your format, but it could've been better.
    For example:
    Adding punctuation.
    I know I shouldn't be preaching.
    But it does make it look nicer.

    Your flow was okay.
    A great flow in my eyes are reading the whole poem flawlessly without stopping.
    I had to stop a couple of times to make sure what I read was right for it didn't SOUND right.

    Your spelling was perfect.

    All all in,
    I'm sorry, dear.
    Your poem's lack of excitement brought the rating down.
    It's a 4/5