Eloquence

by Jenni   Dec 6, 2006


Heart is in overdrive
stomach is in knots
I cannot hold my head high
if I lose the battle I have fought.
These words are all I have
I hope you can understand.
Everything is on the line
if I am wrong, I will reprimand.
I do not feel I am ready
But, my feet keep straddling the edge
All I know is that I will fall apart,
This I promise and pledge.
Please, hold me back
I am not ready to die on the inside.
I wish I could tell you everything -
all the emotions I try to hide.
Tell me if you feel it too
I need to know if your heart is true
Do not let heart and mind collide,
I am waiting for you to decide...

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by BECCA lessTHANthree

    Aw.. cute poem.. the emotion is good but not great.. the rhymes are good and the flow is perfect.. a little cliche but still a nice write

  • 17 years ago

    by girl

    I LOVE IT!

  • 17 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    One thing I've noticed already is you have a great choice of titles, it automatically draws the reader in before they've even began the poem; it's a great tool!
    This was a very emotional, on the edge poem; it had me gritting my teeth lol.
    I do think it was well written, and the only critisism I have is that the rhyme "too" and "true" is quite predictable compared to the other rhymes.
    Good job though, keep it up.

  • 17 years ago

    by Sandra D

    Omygosh!!!! this poe is amazing!!! it flows so so well. there's so much emotion, and i love your word choice!!! great job!!

    Forever*Yours

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I loved this...it was so sweet and full of hope.
    I think it could be better with more imagery, but apart from that you did a wonderful job!

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