Comments : I don't know what I did!

  • 17 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    A good poem, had a good flow, and was a nice read. i think you could of improved by using more punctuation and using enjambment. Still a nice read, keeep it up! xx

  • 17 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    This was a great poem with good flow. We all have made mistakes in our past but we can't go back we have to move on excellent poem 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Lauren Waszkiewicz

    I thought you like me,
    Thought and like- two different tenses
    either i think you like me or i thought you liked me.

    also- the rhyming and line lengths were a bit off. some were too long and short and some rhymes seemed a litlle forced.

    But overall not a bad poem. ithink it oculd use some work. and i think you should read it over and correct it a bit/revise it.

    x3 Lauren

  • 17 years ago

    by X2892

    This was really an excellent poem that u have wrote here, has string emotion on it, i give u a 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    This was a good poem, however I think it could be improved. The rhyming seemed a little forced in some places, and it just didn't flow as well as it could.

    A good try though. 4/5.

  • 17 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    An emotional write. I'm sure many people can relate ot this, because we've all fallen out with someone at some point. The part that hit home for me was "When for the first time ever you swore at me." I remember the first time my fiance and i had a fight, he swore at me (and rightly so, I was being a cow) but hearing that just shocked me so much.
    Anyway...The rhymes were good and aided the flow. However, in places for some reason it didn't rhyme, and I'm wondering why? I personally think it would have been better all rhyming because it would have flowed better though out then. I wasn't too keen on the bit where you said "when I'm dead," it seemed melodramatic and I think it would be better if you changed that part. I mean quite a few things rhyme with "said" like head, bed, fed, lead, tread, shred etc.
    Anyway thanks for sharing.

  • 17 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Lol just to let you know you're mad (in a good way) and you have a strange sense of humour lol but it's cool.

  • 17 years ago

    by lexie

    This was a super great poem w/a really good flow.you've def. got talent,keep writing!
    thanks again for joining the fiesta!
    --lexie

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I liked this.
    I thought the rhyme scheme and flow worked really well.

  • 17 years ago

    by Rona

    I liked this poem! It made me think back to when I had a fight with a friend also. *sigh* Anyway, that was a good read!

  • 17 years ago

    by Boogie

    Damn.. really sad .. i actuaally teared while reading this! =S

    5/5 ! loved it !

  • 16 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    Oh my god!....such a beautiful write!....i can sooo relate!
    Great!..loved it!

    xxPoojaxx

  • 16 years ago

    by Robert

    This was ok but you never really told the reader what happened you beat the bush enough but never got to the core point that was the only thing that I didn't like good try though Plot121

  • 16 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    Great poem...and it flowed well too...over all a nice read..but it might be tad better if u adjusted the lines lengths and the rhymes..i giv it a 5/5..for the perfect flow and good presentation
    Kp it up!

  • 16 years ago

    by FallenGrace

    Great poem, flows really well, really good read, you really got across your emotions well, well done, keep it up =]
    xxx

  • 15 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Well written...
    flow was good...you very well described your feelings...a guess a lot of people will be able to relate with it..

    overall a good read..