This is a good poem but it is really sad

Yes it is sad, but i love it.

So sad. thats a tragedy none should ahve to face, i feel for you and your family. the only suggestion i would have to make is to watch your rhyming, in some spots the rhyming seems forced and its offbeat slightly.
but other wise this is a really good poem. i feel for you hon,

xxLauren

--and im sorry but that is not
The
Hidden
Message.

it is actually within the poem. using some words.
you could try again. =]

Cute.veery cute

;)

I'm sorry for your loss. It's a great poem. It's quite heart felt, and filled with emotion.
Def a 5/5.

My poem that you commented on is about anything you'd like it to be about. Maybe a son, maybe a lover, maybe a anyone you attach meaning to.

5/5. Wow. I'm amazed. I really liked how you had written this poem! I couldn't pick a favorite stanza to pick from because they all where my favorite.

And I'm glad to hear that you like my poems.

Man. Sad...

5/5

Great job. i like this one. i just have one simple question. how do you lose what you never did find?

if you never found it then how do you lose it?

anywhoo great job. best one yet!

I dont like sad poems just for the fact that they are sad, but this was a well written and all around good poem...keep up the work but find something happy...big smiles=)

-Jason-

This id really good. 5/5.

P.S. Tomorrow meet me on here at 8 pm CENTRAL time. I will have a forum in OTHER titled JUDGING CONTEST. Thankyou!

Well, that's not in the least bit uplifting, but a good write nonetheless. If this is true, which I assume it is, I hope you (and your brother) are doing better now. Be thankful you have eachother to lean on for support.

5/5

I love dis poem its gd...thanx 4 commenting mine

Slowly making his way to heaven. = I strongly suggest changing this to : slowly making his way towards heaven.

My little brother shattered to pieces. = My little brother, shattered to pieces.

It was sort of hard to follow but i could tell that it was written from the heart. The flow was sketchy, and it rhymed but forcibly at times. I still enjoyed it and it seems that the beggining was better than the end. I suggest you challenge yourself and you write this poem over again... Who knows, maybe you will like the new version better.

5/5
~Stephen White

The ending was spectacular.. very strong without seeming as if your tried to hard.. the perfect balance of perfection...

the first lines of the first two stanzas do not rhyme by sound only by spelling... which is okay. However, at the third stanza and from there on you rhymed the first two lines by sound and not by spelling... it threw off the flow a little

you make a strong point of your brother being too young in the way you repeat "Too young" in the start of the first four lines which helps add to the perfection of the ending

overall a carefully written poem that shows thought and care for getting your emotions across exactly how you feel them

Wow. That was a powerful poem. Absolutely beautiful and sad. I almost cried because I could picture this boy really well in my mind with the images you created. Your writing is truly wonderful.

Damn such a sad poem, it made me feel glad for whati had and that wasgood messege to send out to your audience hun well done.

xxx alex xxx