Oh wow, very good, I like it alot. Umm one thing to say, for ME it was a little hard to follow, but again that could just be me, haha

but good job

Interesting to a much higher standard. I love the way you write; your ideas.. But, I can't quit grasp the style you use. The way you break up the poem makes it slightly awkward, though the flow was very good...
I really enjoyed reading this immensly. It really made me think.. And I -loved- the last two lines. Absolutely astonishing.
Wonderful job.

xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex5.5

Wow that was really good! all though i kinda found it a tad hard to follow too.. but all the same i found it really interesting