Broken: not what I thought. (part three)

I thought it was over
the buzzer had sound
But I still feel my body
my hands are still bound

I still hear your voice
I still feel the pain
I still smell the smell
of the falling rain

My mind is still spinning
My body convulsing
the smell of my blood
is oddly repulsing

I still feel it all
every emotion
from hatred and guilt
to love and devotion

This plan was no failure
not like the rest.
I couldn't outsmart you
I should have guessed

I just wasn't strong enough
to block out the pain
You'll be thrilled to know
that I'm still insane

A short lived freedom
from the torture of hell
like when I came down
Like when he would yell

So when I say that I'm fine
Know that I'm lying
and ill dream a sweet dream
that ends with me dying

Hes back and I'm stoned
and I don't feel a thing
as he tramples my heart
and breaks both my wings.