I reallly relaly really like this one... a lot! its amazing

VERY well written

Rachellea

Love your poem it is really good! Keep writing!

Excellent! What a great flow this poem has. Love how the ending ties with it being the dad. I thought at first it was heading somewhere else. Brava!

Awww. im about to tear. that was really powerful. keep it up. 5/5

So many people get lost under the influence of drugs/alcohol and it's really sad to see. excellent right so true 5/5

The emotion was amazing in this one. If he doesn't know what he will lose, then why should it matter? Find someone that will know what they could possibly lose. Anyway.. great work.

P.S. I love the fact that they all basically left you one liners.

That's a very sad ending. I must be honest and say it was quite a predictable poem overall. What I mean is the words weren't very creative and the rhymes were "bad" & "had," "cry" & "die" etc. It seems it took minutes to write (well that's how it read anyway). It was sad though, and unfortunatly will be truthful to some people in today's society. I guess it was a brief reminder of the world we live in today.
So all in all, I understand your message, I just feel you could have been more creative with it's delivery. Thanks for sharing nevertheless.

Wow this is so sad! its an excellent poem.

The flow of this poem was good. it had such feeling, and you put a truth to it which held the poem well. great work.

The 3rd stanza was the only one I had issues with. I guess I would of said it differently. It was a very good poem, though. Well done and to the point. You are good at poems with few words but amazing impact. Thank you for sharing these with us.
Charisma*

Under the influence
is where he hides
where he was lost
where daddy died

thats my fav stanza, and its a very good poem, even though its sad!

Narc xxx

The ending to this nearly made me cry. It was really powerful, as if coming from a very young person's mouth, which really makes it hit hurt. I mean, it would be sad coming from anyone, but the way you ended it just gave off a big impact. Good work.

Oh my gosh... this is amazing, another 5! i love your choice of words! the way you write you poems, makes it so that so many people can relate, and i love it!!

Forever*Yours

Becca,
This one really was gut wrenching. I have watched the affects of alcohol on someone I care for deeply. The results are devistating. So this really touched home. I am sure there will be many who relate to this poem of yours. Excellent writing.

The emotion within this poem was outstanding. You really have a way to get the readers involved. I loved it. Keep up the good work.

Peace, Joe

This poem is great....it was really hard for me to choose 3 winners in the contest that i had..and yours came really close to winning.

Wow. i did not expect that kind of ending. it was amazing. this poem was so heartfelt, you are very good at making me feel for these characters in your poetry, and i think that's one of the things that makes you stick out as a writer. great job! 5/5

You really know how to touch the reader's nerve.
You have great talent for writing.
I loved this, it has so much depth and emotion in it.
Outstanding work.

Lamp

wow the last stanza of this poem really hit me. Very strong and powerful.
"under the influence
that's where he hides
where he was lost
and where daddy died."

its so true cause when that happens its no longer your father its the alchol taking control of him. The poem itself was very sad. I'm so very sorry that you have to live in that hell. Stay strong, cause what doesnt' kill you makes you stronger. The only critice that I have is in the last stanza you should write the word "and" instead of using a symbol because since the entire poem is written it kind of throws off the flow.