Comments : Dear Father

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I really liked this.
    There is a couple spelling errors that need to be fixed and worse should be worst.
    Apart from that I think you did a wonderful job on this.
    The flow and rhyme scheme was good and the imagery enjoyable.

  • 17 years ago

    by TearsInTheRain

    I luve u bekz! 4 ever!

  • 17 years ago

    by Megadrive

    Om... I just relate to this a whole lot... (Problems with dads seems to be way to common these days=( ) Anyway back to your poem... Very emotional and sad, really paints a clear picture! My personnel opinion I think on the part
    "So why hind from me father you'll find me."
    I think a comma right after father would really set the you ll find me, and make it really jump out. Some of the rhymes are slightly “simple,” and I think you have the potential to really push yourself and create some really different rhyming schemes, you just have to experiment. I think if your just push your poem a bit more you will really reach a high level with your poems, and of course make them stand out from all the rest=) Besides that, just grading this one as is, I really like it, enjoyed reading it very much=) and like I said, just maybe expending the use of words in your poem will really just bring it out so much farther… other than that, really great job=D keep it up!

    All opinions in this comment are my opinions, you can choose to use them or forget them as you wish.

    ~*+Megan+*~

  • 17 years ago

    by BleedingAngel

    I can relate somehow too....This poem is very sad and depressing, so my style, I love them this way....Great job, keep writing and don't ever let anyone bring you down ok =0)

    Love Sabrina