Crimson traces

by BECCA lessTHANthree   Jan 6, 2007


I remember it so clearly,
When my life was less dreary.

When smiling came, so naturally,
And happiness, so easily.

But then there came, that dreaded day,
When you took all my love away.

You left me crawling, wanting more,
Helplessly stuck on the floor.

Without a choice, my mind was made
To go along, with how you played.

So through the storms and the rain
I was stuck, soaked in disdain.

But slowly I, broke away
Knowing that I couldn’t stay.

I searched for smiles, searched for joy,
With only heartache, to destroy.

I ran away, from pain and tears,
I ran so that my eyes could clear.

Its been so long, since my break down
You’d think by now, I’d know no frown

But still it follows, where I go,
will it leave? I just dont know.

But still I follow, happy faces,
leaving deep, crimson traces

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Gem

    "I ran away, from pain and tears,
    To watch as my bloody eyes cleared."

    I think bloody kind of threw that line off a bit but it still works okay.
    This piece is something which i think a lot of people (unfortunatly) can relate to. The world would be a better place if depression didn't exist.
    5/5
    *Gem*

  • 17 years ago

    by Tine

    * wauw.. you know, this poem really has something behind it you know. That when after you've been depressed, you still carry everything with you, also for the rest of your life. nice.

    x

  • 17 years ago

    by Tammie

    I like this, i think that the ending is strong, that was my favorite part. Keep it up.

    Tammie

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni

    Your rhythm was smooth up until this line:
    I ran away, from pain and tears,
    To watch as my blood clears.

    it didn't exactly flow too well, but other than that line, it's great [: 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    Very nicely penned. The emotion was really great in this. Interesting form. Now and again it didn't really flow as well as it could have done, but overall I really enjoyed it.

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