Wow! i really liked it! it really flowed great! keep writing! take kare! * ~ANtoNiA~

Hey there was a lot of emotion coming through in this poem. a very touching piece. great use of words. keep it up. xx

Excelent!..very inspiring!..how can you write somthing this good?

god i wish i could write dat good...hey can ya check out my poems? I wanna know what a great writer like yourself thinks of my writing.

Thanks!

Love Alwayz!
~Shannon~

{*heart*} {*heart*}

This was really good! I mean it, so sad and truthful.
well done
xxxxxxx

Wow very very nice writing... keep up the good job.my names jay by the way

This was a very interesting read. Made me take a few moments and ponder it's meaning. Though I doubt I could be very accurate. It has that mysterious feeling. Great poem.

This is honestly completely amazing. You obviously are a very skilled writer & the way you captured your anger in disappointment in words is proof of that.

I think I love this mainly because it is very similar to what I've gone through lately with someone.

Thanks for that, I'm inspired.

5/5

I love your poem, look at mine??

Hey ur poem is rlly great... wud u mind commenting on mi writtin pieces just search for the author 'beautifulxhate' i got a fair few hope u like

I hate temptation. I sort of have a different temptation, nothing like smoking or anything. But yeah, I can relate.

I like this one its like your running away from something but it keeps trapping you.. i think well thats the way i looked at it nice job!!

This is great. Holds a lot of truth. lol especially when you wrote at the bottom about smoking. Yea, that's my temtation and I always give in. Wonderful read! 5/5

Marcella

Very good topic. Indeed, temptation's a pain in the arse. (Please excuse my language.) Your rhyimg is absolutely perfect, as would your flow be, but there's one tiny problem.

"In time you'll finally recognize,
The consequences of your evil game,
But it will already be too late, when you realize,
That you fell - To Temptations Angry Flame."

The third line is a little lengthy. Perhaps if you tried something like, "But it will be too late when you realize" instead? I'm not telling you to change your poem. Just giving some suggestions. Other than that, this poem was excellent!

-Travis[InABottle]

I love the flow and the wording and the rhyming... for some reason i just can not rhymn! its insane... but you did a great job at it!

I don't think the last part needs to be capitalized. That kind of takes away from the poem. Otherwise, good writing. Flow was above average, and the topic is unique (and true).

Good piece.

5/5

Wow.. very very amazing.. most of your other poems were love poems but you are just a great writer all around... this poem is great just like all your others.. Temptation.. it suckss lol.

Another great poem and on such a good topic.

You'll slip into it's treacherous grasp,
Fall to the hands of it's evil fate,
The fear alone will make you gasp,
And your soul it will desecrate.

This is my favorite stanza because it shows the evil behind temptation. It can effect anyone and can bring anyone's fall. This was a great read. *5/5*

Alyson

I think your title's missing an appostrophe.
It's supposed to be
Temptation's Angry Flame.
If you want me to explain, I would gladly do it.
But I only have 4 minutes on the computer.

It lurks in the still of night,
Like an animal it stalks it's prey[[.]]
There should be a period at the end, not a comma.
Those two lines combined together is a sentence.
Peace.
Gotta go.

I really liked the last stanza.. very Powerful.
I thought it rhymed and Flowed really well
In my eyes this was flawless
The picures that the words brought to my head were wonderful..
The word choice in this was really good..
5/5

1st Stanza: Uncapitalize 'like' and 'always'. period on 3rd line.
2cd Stanza: Uncapitalize 'over', 'it', and 'and'. loved the rhyme: bend & apprehend for some reason.
3rd Stanza: Uncapitalize 'your', 'it's' , and 'and' .
4th Stanza: Once again, just capitalization.
5th Stanza: Same; capitalization.

'And your soul it will desecrate.' < loved that line, lots.

good flow.
good word choice.
a bit of work on punctuation.
good job, hun.
4/5