Comments : Butterfly

  • 10 years ago

    by Ch!ld~of~Darkness

    I really really liked your poem, it was amazing, the rhymes the way it was set up the comparison to the butterflies all of it just amazing...keep up the awsome work
    pls comment on my poem as well...Storm of grief..thnx

    again awsome awsome poem

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenni

    This was such a beautifully written poem. everything tied in well and it told such a vivid story. After I read the lines,

    "I forced to live with shackled feet,
    My wings you break, my back you beat,"

    I was instantly drawn into your poem. Those two lines were so powerful, keep up the great work!

  • 10 years ago

    by Laybelled with a name

    I like so liked your poem. The best thing about it was the flow, really nice.....
    I'm so happy that you can write poems on this this site and get comments too! It's fun!
    Your a really good writer, you keep writing and I'll keep reading!
    I am a vampire.....

  • 10 years ago

    by Cella Bella

    This poem flows beautifully... though in the first stanza, where it says, "I forced..." It should be I'm forced. Besides that it's a wonderful read.

    marcella

  • 10 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    Hey,
    The flow in this poem was really amazing! The rhymes were great, and the comparison is really great! I was hooked from the first stanza which was my faveourite stanza,

    "The pain, it hurts, I dont know why
    The butterflies fly free and not I
    I forced to live with shackled feet,
    My wings you break, my back you beat,"

    i just really wanted to read more and more. Yeah it should be "I'm forced", an excellent read! Keep it up! xx

  • 10 years ago

    by firexdancer

    I love you all!
    sry about the "I forced" when it should be "i'm forced",
    thx for noticing, that was a typo, and i am gonna fix it,
    luv gabriella

  • 10 years ago

    by Marjan

    Gabriella, this was pretty well written.
    I especially liked the second line.
    how long have you been into writing?
    hope you're doing well :)
    love,
    Marjan

  • 10 years ago

    by tryinXtoXholdXmyXheadXup

    "The pain, it hurts, I dont know why
    The butterflies fly free and not I
    I forced to live with shackled feet,
    My wings you break, my back you beat," this is my fave part of the whole poem you write very well keep it up and i will keep up the comments

  • 10 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    Wow. VERY good. One of the most cliche topics and you made it non-cliche. I'm very proud of you.
    This was beautiful in a dark way and I loved it. I'm sorry, I seem to be at loss for words.
    Because of these two poems you're going on my favorites; feel special. =] I'll comment [or at least read and vote] on any poems you post. Keep me interested. =]

    xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex 5.5

  • 10 years ago

    by .K.i.T.t.Y.

    I really don't know what to say about this poem. it is just beautifully written. i'd give you a ten out of five if that is possible!!!!!

  • 10 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    For your age, that was ok. I'll be honest and say it was on an overused subject, and although there was the occasional overused description in there, I have read a lot worse.
    The basic ideas, and some words such as "shackled feet" were very good. Like I said, for your age it was good. Keep writing.

  • 10 years ago

    by amelia

    This is excellent & wow what a thought to it...
    awesome...
    loved reading it
    over & over
    5/5

    if u can
    pls read my poem murder or suicide
    i'm sure u'll love it
    wil return favours

    as of this piece...
    out of the world !
    love
    amy

  • 10 years ago

    by Afraid of the Dark

    Oh i loved this. . .It flowed beautifully. . .I love it when you reapeat some of the first stanza in the last!

    laura
    x

  • 10 years ago

    by tryinXtoXholdXmyXheadXup

    Really really liked your poem, it was amazing, the rhymes the way it was set up the comparison to the butterflies all of it just amazing...keep up the awsome work

  • 10 years ago

    by BrixGoesxRawr

    Wow. This was AMAZING. It flowed really well & everything was so perfect. Nothing seemed forced at all. It was such a cliche topic, but you wrote it so well, so different. Very creative & unique. I loved that. & The imagery was really good, too. The wording was awesome! Good vocab. as well.

    Favorite part:

    The pain, its gone, into the sky
    The butterflies fly free and so do I
    Wings pure white, I do not miss
    That life I led, for I got my wish.

    ^ PERFECT ENDING. I absolutley loved it, Hun.

    Amazing job. Keep it up.

    Bri x

  • 10 years ago

    by Just Lucy

    Oh wow, that was so strong, i loved it! great great work hun! the flow was beautiful and your words are fantastic!

    xoxo Lucy

  • 10 years ago

    by lost in lovee

    Wow!! this poem was sooo nice! written very well great flow and good rhyming! 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by taeya

    Hey,
    just wanted to say thanks for commenting my poems..i just wanted to say that i loved this poem it was really well written and i just wanted to say keep up the good work...love ya..
    Taeya

  • 10 years ago

    by stefanie

    Wow. this is deep. it really is. i like the flow. it made it more interesting to read. keep up the good work

  • 10 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    Now this, was excellent. Your poems are much stronger when they follow an proper structure. I liked this a lot. The flow was spot on, and the rhyming was wonderful. It was excellent.

    Keep it up.