Comments : A Coma In-Between

  • 17 years ago

    by Tammie

    That's an interesting poem you have there. It really got me thinking and is quite unique. The flow was good and you used good vocab. I like it. Nice job.

    Tammie

  • 17 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    This is a great poem that i do really agree with each words you wrote, in my opinion in this life we wish alot, only if they would come true...........

    this poem reminded me of one of my own one stanza poem i wrote for a girl i loved, this really match with your poem,
    i wish i could find a land
    where we could be together
    far from hose faking lovers in your life
    then you would know, Goran loves you forever.

    again your poem is great, keep it up.

  • 17 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    I meant THOSE faking lovers,
    sorry for the mistake

  • 17 years ago

    by ShootingStar179

    I love the meaning of this poem.

    One problem:

    "Justice, peace, pain, unfair"

    It seems like you just stuck that in there to rhyme. It just doesn't fit. It cut off the flow.

    Otherwise, good.

    4/5

  • 17 years ago

    by A Christoffer

    I thought taht it flowed very nicely. This was a good poem. A great poem but something bothered me. it didnt really stick out from other great poems. The chosen words and the rhyme scheme have all been used. Dont get me wrong it was still a very great poem but nothing special about it. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by .K.i.T.t.Y.

    Wow. i really don't know what to say about this poem. it's great work.

  • 17 years ago

    by Sandra D

    I really like this poem, its so unique!! i don't think I've read anything like this before. not the way you wrote it (it's like a lot of others), but i mean what its about. anyways, great job!!

    Forever♥Yours

  • 17 years ago

    by Allis MT

    Very interesting, i still haven't figured out why its' called a comma in between, but it conveys some pretty interesting thoughts. very dark, but i like it :)

  • 17 years ago

    by Lonely Little Dreamer

    A very unique poem..really enjoyed it..i liked being able to make mental pictures through your describtions

  • 17 years ago

    by Ashleigh Skye

    Amazing, I love the last line, very powerful. The title of this poem had me a little confused at the start but now it all makes perfect sence. This poem was very dark but very intriguing and mystifying, and extremely well written. Nice work, it was a pleasure to read this.

  • 17 years ago

    by Leanne

    This is the first poem i've read of yours and if the rest are anything like this then i'll be reading a lot more of your work, the imagery used was great and the flow and rhyming didn't seem forced. Well done 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni

    Wow. this was amazing. i loved everything about this poem, and there is nothing about it I would think of changing.

    "I wish I could capture the essence
    Of life, water, dirt, and air
    Along with the understanding of all
    Justice, peace, pain, unfair"

    this was my favorite part. just so you know [:

  • 17 years ago

    by MemoirsOfMe

    At first, I say Wow. Such a abstract thought, and to put it into words, you're captivating expressions, it was beautiful. Great imagery, great style, great flow. Loved it, simply put. Amazing, kudos.

  • 17 years ago

    by J Lau

    Great write with a grey view. We all wish we can hold onto time... but since that's impossible... treasure the moment is the next best thing we can do. I read a quote once that goes "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." Anyhow... excellent write. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by azii

    So nice. I enjoyed it a lot!
    5/5
    The rhyming is greatly done.

    Keep it up!

  • 17 years ago

    by ~*SugarCube*~

    This poem is very well written.
    5/5
    take care.

    ~Chelsea

  • 17 years ago

    by Darien

    Hmm, this wasn't a very intensely written dark poem. I didn't get the chills I would normally get, but there was still some darkness within this one. It seemed more like a cold, calm tone, which is a bit different, but I liked it. So well done.

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Wow, very powerful poem, truly greatly written. The flow is excellent, and the wording is also very good.
    My favorite stanza is:
    -I wish I could capture the essence
    Of life, water, dirt, and air
    Along with the understanding of all
    Justice, peace, pain, unfair-

    I like the imagery that you created very much, it is captivating.
    Keep up, 5/5 from me

  • 16 years ago

    by xxSuicidalxx

    Wow! Beautiful poem! I love it! You did an awesome job on this! Very powerful and unique...keep up the good work!

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael

    Great poem. Its really unique, it got me thinking.