Comments : I wish i was a star

  • 10 years ago

    by KemistryKia

    I like the metaphor theme, yea that was defininatly excellent

  • 10 years ago

    by Laybelled with a name

    Awwwwwwwwwwwww........... Thats really good! Loved this one, your a fantasic writer! Keep it up!!!!! :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Marjan

    This was simply beautiful. I really loved it. you seem really good at expressing yourself Gabriella :)
    take care,
    Marjan

  • 10 years ago

    by tryinXtoXholdXmyXheadXup

    Well written and thanks forthe coments i really apritiate them

  • 10 years ago

    by Cella Bella

    I loved the first stanza... it's beautifully penned. As a whole it's a terrific poem. 5/5

    marcella

  • 10 years ago

    by David

    The last para was the best! i loved it. i will read more soon. i am adding you to my favourites. hope you do the same. your style of writing is wonderful to read.

    and if they are all this good you will be getting a lot of 5s.

    5/5 david

  • 10 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    That was quite beautiful.
    The idea of being a star to be closer to someone was great, and very touching.
    Obviously it still needs work, all all poems do. But it was good.
    Some suggestions - use more punctuation, and the last line of the second stanza had a flow issue.
    Good write though. If you keep writing and improving, your work will be quite impressive!!

  • 10 years ago

    by tryinXtoXholdXmyXheadXup

    Great poem easy read i like the style sorry this is short i am in a hurry i will check back later great great great

  • 10 years ago

    by SmileeItsBritt

    This is so cute. nice work sweetie 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Just Lucy

    Oooohh wow, so beautiful! thats fantastic, i love how your mind works, these poems look like you didnt need the effort and that is a good thing!

    xoxo Lucy

  • 10 years ago

    by lost in lovee

    Ohhh that was so good! short but i loved it!!!!! 5/5 xD

  • 10 years ago

    by twisted reality

    Hmm...I thought this one could've been better. I didn't like the flow much. It seemed really rocky. Not so much at the beginning, but near the end it started to get worse. Just watch the flow throughout the whole poem. =) 4/5 xoxo

    Samantha

  • 10 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    Aww well penned! flow was okay for me. I love the title of the poem! Uhm to improve this I would suggest you to use punctuations because a poem without a punctuation is like a song without a tune. :) but overall it was great.

  • 10 years ago

    by Kyrodo

    Kyri can definitely relate to this one ^^ (Kyri wishes wings to fly though xP). It was sweet and majestic, simple but powerful.