Soft devotion

by Dana   Jan 30, 2007


A trance of musical beauty
created by the one of contrast
and sensual duty.
Felt by a dead hand of the past.

Only such wisdom of melodic phrase,
such empathy of pain
could set many into a constant daze
as the music accompanies their veins.

Your symphonies, Oh baby grand,
arouses most certain relaxation
As I stroke you with the curves of my hand.
My body embraces the vibration.

Sing me a harmonious tune
through your ivory teeth.
Your strange fiction causes me to swoon
and wonder what lies beneath.

Easily we pluck each strand
and your strain turns into artistry.
Such tension has been a demand,
a martyr that has followed our ancestry.

I give you my life oh baby grand.

**CRITICISM WELCOME WITH OPEN ARMS....I REALLY NEED HELP WITH THIS ONE!**

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by BeautifulxMess

    That was wonderful!! It didn't flow in the middle very well I think because the stanza seemed to be broken. But over all wonderful!! God Bless 5/5
    <3Tayy

  • 17 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Amazing use of language here, the abundance of harmonic words really made this a vivid imagery piece.
    In terms of critisism, the main point would be flow. It's all great using these creative words but they sometimes hinder the poems flow a little. If you were to go over it, think about some descriptions that aren't completely needed, and what would make it sound less "wordy," that should help a bit.
    Lovely poem anyway, thanks for sharing.

  • 17 years ago

    by Leanne

    The imagery in this piece was fantastic, i thought the flow could use a little work but to be honest, the poem was written well and made that kinda un-noticable to me still gets a 5/5 from me

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