The Wick

by IdTakeABulletForYou   Mar 1, 2007


Thanks to Brittney Schmelter for Edits:

New Version:

Resonating candlelight
That ebbs and flows just like the sea
Making me remember that
The two of us were meant to be

Filling through the atmosphere
With light that flickers -- dim...
Searching for a match
So I can light the wick again...

Original Version:

Resonating candlelight
that ebbs and flows just like the sea
making me remember that the two of us were meant to be

filling through the atmosphere
with light that flickers
-- dim...
searching for a match
so i can light the wick again...

short, but sweet and to the point...

0


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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by I Love You

    This is a very good poem

  • 10 years ago

    by John Long

    Enjoyed the imagery of the first two lines and the double meaning of "Searching for a match" which is quite imaginative. Well written.

    Nice work!

  • 10 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    To be so young you sure are talented. I love this cute little poem. Although short, it got the point across. It flowed well and the structure and word choice were good. Excellent job on this!

  • 10 years ago

    by Mezmeryz

    Aww that was soo sweetand cute..lol very well written..short but fulfilling. keep it up! x

  • 10 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    Yes very sweet and it created a great image in my head. Though I think you should acutally set up some stanza and put in some grammer:

    Resonating candlelight
    That ebbs and flows just like the sea
    Making me remember that
    The two of us were meant to be

    Filling through the atmosphere
    With light that flickers -- dim...
    Searching for a match
    So I can light the wick again...

    Ta da! if you don't capitalize and puncuate or whatever it makes your work look sloppy and it seems as if you just threw it together in a few seconds. Make it look as good as it sounds.

    Great rhyming and flow.

    5/5