Comments : My Perfection

  • 12 years ago

    by Annabel

    Aww i love the last stanza this poems great. Did you e-mail me? I didn't get it :S Anyway dw bout it xxx

  • 12 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    I totally agree that sometimes it isn't enough to just be "loved" we need more then that. I loved the 4th stanza it was awesome. amazing poem 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Colby

    Good job laura keep it up

  • 12 years ago

    by Stephanie

    When the places that you called paradise
    Change and turn hell
    When people you thought they're nice...
    Take me out this marsh I fell

    ^ Wow. Simply Amazing. Your words flowed perfectly & the emotions were so vivid & deep in my mind.

    "When birds sing in the air happily
    But you're too sad to hear"

    ^ I can relate to this couplet so many times, it kind of hit me hard.

    All around fantastic write! Keep it up! 5/5

    Stephanie Lynn .+.

  • 12 years ago

    by SECRET

    O--it was nice..even tho i got only lil..lol..but i was luking a poems smth like this..

  • 12 years ago

    by Laybelled with a name

    Good!!!!!
    loved it!
    :D

  • 12 years ago

    by Megamidget3

    Great job! loved it! im new, so ill be looking up to u other poets for advice and help. 5/5!

  • 12 years ago

    by lost in lovee

    Awwww!!! that poem is soo nice! 5/5 good job! good write!

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    This was just so beautiful!
    The imagery you used created vivid pictures, and I thought the whole piece flowed very well.
    The wording was beautiful, and the first stanza really pulled me in.
    You did a wonderful job.

  • 12 years ago

    by twisted reality

    Well I liked the main theme of this poem. It has a very strong meaning and a very good point to it. But the problem I found was that your rhyme scheme was all over the place. In the first stanza I found that it was legible and there were rhymes where you had put them (aabb). Then in the second stanza, you rhymed 'hear' with 'happily.' And that's not rhyming. It goes on into the third and fourth stanza that you switched rhyming schemes around. If you're going to rhyme, rhyme throughout the whole poem and not just whatever comes to your head. It's confusing, and since I didn't quite understand it the first time I read it, I had to read it again. Please don't take this personally. I am just giving some honest advice. =) 4/5 xoxo

    Samantha

  • 12 years ago

    by azii

    Beautiful.. So nicely written.. Keep it up.

  • 11 years ago

    by Victoria Rainey

    Good job you had a strong meaning and powerful words... good job again lol 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Espoirfailed

    I liked this poem, it seemed to flow well, i loved the imagery within it

    "When birds sing in the air happily
    But you're too sad to hear"

    these lines were pretty amazing...

  • 11 years ago

    by Seronum

    Awesome work, everything flows so nicely. I give this poem 5/5 as well, keep writing im going to look at more of your work!

  • 11 years ago

    by The Sky is Falling

    Wow, this poem was very touching.I loved this poem. Keep up the amazing work. Written very well 5/5
    Check mine out

  • 11 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Truly beautiful poem, I like the rhymes and the way you expressed emotions.
    Well done.
    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Adelle

    This poem flows very well and te rhyming of the last two lines of each stanza again reflects you style very much I really like this one good poem.

  • 11 years ago

    by Catastrophic Beauty

    Very touching. I dont neccessarily like the mixed up rhyming scheme. or is this free verse? I don't know, but I did enjoy this poem. I loved how you wrote the last line in each stanza. Very sweet and effective. 5/5

    -Shannon <3