Hmm. this poem is pretty confusing. did you have a few ideas you wanted to write about? i don't follow it too easily. despite this, these lines are pretty lovely:
"I pray to the lord you made it safe
I kept your slow and lifeless faith"
i'd think about reverting back to the style of writing you abided by in the poem 'Change'. it felt like the writing was free-er and you could write down things honestly and beautifully. you're a good writer and i admire your experimentalism, but i much prefer Change to the rest of the poems i've read so far.x