I really liked it. The language and the way you stated things were really interesting. You had a lot of really good lines in the poem and all of them were very focused on the central idea that they usually wouldn't happen. Good Job 5/5
First of all thank you for your comment i really appreciate feedback. (And yeah they are a ton of typo's ill ocrrect them after i finish writing this comment).
Anyways i really enjoyed this poem, the flow was good and the rhymes didnt seem forced. Your vocabulary was amazing and i was really enjaged in this poem. You created vivid imagery and i really loved it. Keep writing youve got talent! xx
This 1 is great!...lovely poem!!...the rhymings has made it look a lot better!..i love the way it flowed!...and it's very different from the kind of poems i've done befor!!!
Luv it!an easy 5/5..n kp up de good wrk!
Wow. Wow.. and again Wow.
I have to admit to you.. when you said you only had a couple poems, I figured they probably wouldn't be that great.
But just reading this one I completely take back any thoughts I previously had.
Your rhyming was almost perfect, and the way you used your words to play an image for the reader is amazing!
The first Stanza is my absolute favorite.
As sad as the poem is, it's one I had to read again and again.
If I could I would give you a 10/5
But I guess a 5/5 will have to do..
11 years ago
Great poem. It was very intense and has an amazing flow to it.
Omg I am sitting here in awe wondering how you wrote such an excellent poem. the flow was perfect, the word choice was inmeasurable the best, and everthing fit togather easily. the emtion are deep and clear, wonderul job, please keep writting.
Wow I loved this poem.. It was so powerful and eliquant(Sp?) What I liked the most though was when reading it I couldnt help but read faster the more I got into it and then flow would speed up and make it sound that much more intense. I dont know if you intended it to be like that but thats just how it was. And then at the end I slowed right down and the ending hit like a lightening bolt. Amazing job. What I also liked was the stanzas how the first and last each had four lines while all the rest had two. Made the beginning and end stand out and demand more respect. Nice work. I loved it.