Comments : Hidden Feelings

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    Aww this is cute I wished the last stanza was the same length as the other two but oh well its not my poem I loved it I've been here and felt this nice poem

  • 16 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    This poem is filled with lots of raw emotion. You have some typos and some flow problems. But other than that darlin' it was beautiful! Let me help:

    Usually you want about the same amount of sllylables in each line. Example: 5 6 6 7 ... lets see what you have:

    Every time I see you, 6 sllylables `also everytime*`
    I want to scream, 4
    I want to tell you how I feel, 8
    But I'm afraid of what it'll do to us, 11
    If you felt the same, 5
    Would we be together? 6
    If you didn't, 4
    Would this friendship end? 5

    I wouldn't bare the thought 6
    Of not hearing your sexy voice, 8
    Or seeing those shiny brown eyes, 8
    Or looking at that handsome face. 8
    The thought of not seeing you everyday, 10
    Is too painful for me to think about. 10

    So these hidden feelings I have for you, 10
    Will always & forever be treasured in me. 12

    Over all after the first stanza you did well but just fix it up a bit and the flow will be perfect. Overall darlin' it was amazing. I loved this part:

    Or looking at that handsome face.
    The thought of not seeing you everyday,
    Is too painful for me to think about.

    So these hidden feelings I have for you,
    Will always & forever be treasured in me.

    Great Job!

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Melpomene

    I liked this poem i found it to be beautifully written the only thing again i suggest is maybe making the lines the same length but this poem was fine i enjoyed it alot. Well done on this sweet love poem~mel

  • 16 years ago

    by Olorin

    Very sweet :) I can relate to this poem alot!

  • 16 years ago

    by Megann Lee

    Awh. I have felt like this before but I told his friend and his friend told him and everything worked out just fine and everything is perfect now. I loved the poem.

  • 16 years ago

    by Kalee

    This is a sweet poem. I know it is hard to tell some one how you feel. I think you really need to tell him. If you don't and you find out latter on that he does like you, you would have missed out on being with him for an amount of time. Anyway, it was a great poem. 5/5

    Kalee

  • 16 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    Is this for your bestfriend :) hehe Thanks for the comment by the way :) I enjoyed your poem 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Stephanie Naylor

    Wow, i loved it, it was great, thats how i felt b 4 i told my best guy friend i liked him, and i told him and we went out, but he broke up with me a day later because he said that i told one of his friends to tell him i loved him, but i never did, lol, but its somthing people can relate to

  • 16 years ago

    by I Seem to be the Heartless

    Yet another fantastic poem. It's so hard to tell a friend you'd like more than a friendship. Sigh..

    Josie

    P.S The first Blow Me Away is under explicit because it's a "rape story" as they classify it...

  • 16 years ago

    by luna bella

    This is something i can also relate to keep your feelings secret afraid of what reaction you will get, afraid to ruin something so great as your friendship ......anyways thats life never fair.............. another great poem

  • 16 years ago

    by STEVE

    Really sweet it means a lot 5/5 Steve

  • 16 years ago

    by Jose

    I've been there and done that amazing poem

  • 16 years ago

    by chind

    This is real sweeet
    been there =S

    =]louii xx

  • 16 years ago

    by LouYsabelNicole

    Its a great poem :D i caN relate to it...
    ~nYx~