Comments : The Wait

  • 10 years ago

    by Nikki

    Good!

  • 10 years ago

    by ShootingStar179

    This poem is very elementary, dear. There is no structure, no rhyme, no depth. It has a conflict, I will give you credit for that. But I must be honest, this is no better than a 3.

  • 10 years ago

    by Civil Hatori

    This is quite an interesting topic, and I like your unique chjoice, but you might want to leave out some of the "." at the end and add commas. That might help a bit. Other than that, probably 4/5
    Keep it up :D
    Hatori

  • 10 years ago

    by Melpomene

    I found this to be interesting but to me the word choice was just to commen. There was no ryhme throughout this and the structure isnt their. i found the choice to be some what unique though so well done on that ~mel

  • 10 years ago

    by icarus

    Parts of this were good (and it doesn't need to rhyme, i don't know why some people insist on rhyming but i rarely do). it didn't flow very well though. you broke the lines up more for size purposes than for any type of rhythm.

    "We are on are way.
    to win or loss,
    that I don't know,
    but I know what to do,"

    I thought that was your best as far as flow goes. just my observations, i'm no expert so take it for what its worth.

  • 10 years ago

    by Kaila

    This poem to me had no feeling I know you said how you felt but I guess I was just expecting more

  • This was good.
    However I think the flow was off a bit
    4/5

    [Sarah]

  • 10 years ago

    by Vanessa

    The flow was off a little bit, and it isn't very deep, but you can only get better with time. I liked it and I will give you an a for effort. 4/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    Another great poem by you. again you have proved your great talent here.
    another 5/5 from me.

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I enjoyed the conflict you portrayed in this.
    I thought that the flow was off a little in places, and I didn't find very much depth in the piece.
    However, I enjoyed the imagery, I thought you did a great job with that.

  • 10 years ago

    by Choose xX Alex Xx Life

    I think you meant cooked on your last line, other than that a good write it had difference and that what makes some poetry unique. I like different poems that make you htink well done

    xxx alex xxx (2)

  • 10 years ago

    by Kaila

    Ok first it still wasnt creative enough for me think you should check out merriam webster online dictionary and look for some synanyms for some of the dull words that are boring this poem down

  • 10 years ago

    by Seronum

    Very nice, keep up the good work!

  • 10 years ago

    by Teria

    "loss" < lose.

    I don't like poems that don't rhyme. I guess I just realized none of your poems have rhymed.. And, I'm on like the ninth or tenth one. Lol. But, overall it was a good poem. I liked the concept of it, but the flow was a bit shaky, eh. You did a good job, though.

  • 10 years ago

    by ImNotPerfect20

    I liked this.. it was an intresting topic to write about.. the point of view of someone waiting to play.. very good.. keep up the good work..

  • 10 years ago

    by Ashleigh Skye

    Hmm.. this was a preaty good poem, and the spelling and grammer seemed fine to me the only thing I can say was it seemed kind of childish like I didnt get any sort of message or anything behind it. so because of that I cant give it a very good rating. srry. keep trying.

  • 10 years ago

    by Stephanie Naylor

    I thought that it was ok. Not your best work, but still a good poem. There could have been a little bit of a better ending than the one you have chosen. And maybe try to put more meaning into it, 4/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Victoria Rainey

    This was an interesting choice but at the same time the flow was off.. I know you can do better.. it was a little confusing as well.. but nice try though 3/5

  • 10 years ago

    by KeyxMashingxParody

    4/5 it was alright, confusing to me.

  • 10 years ago

    by bleeding limegrenn

    I thing it was ok it was amazing or any thign but it was crapy 4/5