This is quite an interesting topic, and I like your unique chjoice, but you might want to leave out some of the "." at the end and add commas. That might help a bit. Other than that, probably 4/5
Keep it up :D
I found this to be interesting but to me the word choice was just to commen. There was no ryhme throughout this and the structure isnt their. i found the choice to be some what unique though so well done on that ~mel
Parts of this were good (and it doesn't need to rhyme, i don't know why some people insist on rhyming but i rarely do). it didn't flow very well though. you broke the lines up more for size purposes than for any type of rhythm.
"We are on are way.
to win or loss,
that I don't know,
but I know what to do,"
I thought that was your best as far as flow goes. just my observations, i'm no expert so take it for what its worth.
I enjoyed the conflict you portrayed in this.
I thought that the flow was off a little in places, and I didn't find very much depth in the piece.
However, I enjoyed the imagery, I thought you did a great job with that.
I don't like poems that don't rhyme. I guess I just realized none of your poems have rhymed.. And, I'm on like the ninth or tenth one. Lol. But, overall it was a good poem. I liked the concept of it, but the flow was a bit shaky, eh. You did a good job, though.
Hmm.. this was a preaty good poem, and the spelling and grammer seemed fine to me the only thing I can say was it seemed kind of childish like I didnt get any sort of message or anything behind it. so because of that I cant give it a very good rating. srry. keep trying.