Comments : Untitled

  • 16 years ago

    by Melpomene

    I liked the meaning of this poem it was really nice and sad at the same time, I think to fix it up a little you could of used different words maybe ones that show more emotion make it stronger. I think you need to describe what you were feeling when you say your sister left you. and also for the format i think you need to make the stanzas have the same amount of lines through it because in the first stanza you have 4 lines then the 2nd 3 and so on. If you did this i think it would make the poem flow much better. Other then them few thing i suggest i think you portrayed this poem very well. Well done ~mel

  • 16 years ago

    by Amnah

    Well boba, i think your poems are pretty good. lowliness may be a word, i checked it out as far as i could but i'm still unsure. anyway, the way you write it seems that u do pardah, is that true??

  • 16 years ago

    by Megann Lee

    This is really cute and a very good read. I thought you did a great job and it flowed very nicely.

  • 16 years ago

    by Finalgravedigger

    Nice flow i loved it thanks for the comments your on my favorites.

  • 16 years ago

    by tyanna

    I liked the meaning in this poem but agree that you use stonger words to make the emotion "jump out"...Great job though..4/5

  • 16 years ago

    by ~*SugarCube*~

    This is an amazing poem. You did a great job. alot of emotion put into it.
    "You're my only sister
    And I cherish that so
    I love you so much
    & I've always got your back"
    ^ those lines are really sweet.
    well done. 5/5

    ~Chelsea

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    I liked but the whole flow/structure was off other then that it was good

  • 16 years ago

    by amoxi

    This was a pretty good poem i like it and it had a good story line too it, i dont have any older sisters so i dont know how it would feel to have urs go off and get married but i have a younger sister and shes gettin into boys real bad and i dont hardly see her and thats hard for we were close so i can kind of relate, but really good poem keep it up

  • 16 years ago

    by MrsBryAnt

    I like this poem. i think you did an excellent job. i have a sister that ran out on me when i was real young. she went to live at her moms. i grew up with just me & my brothers. but now that she came back into my life in my older years. i finally got what i missed out on years ago.

  • 16 years ago

    by Yourmyangel

    I really like it..i know how you feel though..my older brother was like my best friend and he got married...but you have good work..keep it up

  • 16 years ago

    by Sarah

    Very emotional..great piece..I liked it..
    ~sarah~