Move

by nicole   Apr 11, 2007


Pulling at my heart strings tugging at my mind searching through these hard things falling fast behind
looking through cracked mirrors hanging on the wall
tumbling to the ground are my troubles standing tall
whispering within the wind dancing in the trees
coming back with new force from hopes eternal springs fear is slipping far behind new giants to tackle up ahead running ever faster rhythmatically held in my stead

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  • 16 years ago

    by Michelle

    Hey nicole, I just re-read your changes and the rythm suits the poem much better. It's a lovely piece, nice work

  • 16 years ago

    by Sarah

    What kind of a loser insults rythm >.>...i liked it nicole! lol actually yeah ...the beats a little off :P

  • 17 years ago

    by Michelle

    I really, really liked this piece. I like the subject, the concept of moving forward, and the emotions that go along with it. The rythm, however, was definitely off in a couple places. I would suggest that you change the format a bit in lines 1, 6, and the last two. The poem itself was still beautiful though, and the words were captivating. I especially liked lines 5 and 7, they were lovely. Great read

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