This made me almost cry when you gave it to me. It's unlike anything i've read from you.
I don't know how you're going to improve it.. I think it's perfect honey
I love you
*Gem* xxx

Awww that is such a sweet and cute poem, gem is one luckyyy girl

I feel like Adam, on his first glance of Eve
^ that line is soo amazing i loved it

you're an amazing writer

~brittany (MD)

Wow...the words are so beautiful!! and thats the first word that come tomy mind when i read it! and every stanza adds to the whole beauty of the poem! great imagery, a true masterpiece!
nuff luv x

Liked it

This is a great start for the poem.
I can't wait till read it when its finished.
I'll give it a 5/5 for now.
Tell me when you have finished it I'll surely read it.

5/5 for something that needs work its off to a great start. keep it up i like what i've read

It's really sweet and cute...so sweet wording and good flow...but there is just a thing in the last line
You wrote 'mind' instead of 'mine'
It would be perfect if you correct it
Good job
Laura

I just noticed that typo too, lol
It still rocks honey, it's my fave poem by you ever!!
Love you tons
Kitten xx

Out of the poems I've read, I think this is your best so far. I liked how you repeated " Lead us not into tempation" and then related it to things in the bible. They say the bible is love, eh. So, it kinda went with the poem. :D

Keep it up.
5/5

This is amazingly clever, and extremely beautiful. i am not religious in the slightest but i thought the use of the biblical phrases in this were outstanding. i also loved the title and the last two lines because they were intelligent and witty but also meaningful.

you seem to think this needs a lot of work, but in my opinion this is perfect, the reason it won the contest of over 25 poems