Comments : Brooding

  • 10 years ago

    by sibyllene

    Hey now! That was lucky of me, to actually stumble upon something decent on my first try!

    Your vocaublary was varied and refreshing, sort of like the "verdant praries" you describe in the beginning of this poem. I have to admit that I'm not entirely, absolutely sure what you are getting at in this poem. My guess would be that the subject, while in turmoil on the inside, is nevertheless placated by surroundings. I do have a couple questions, though. One, are you using "refrain" as a personified object? If so, then I have no qualms, but if not, I don't know if the sentence makes grammatical sense. Also, though this is entirely subjective, the fact that you never returned to that elusive "name" that was whispered made me feel like there was something incomplete. However, as I said, that may have been intentional on your part. I especially liked how you recognized that feeling that lies "twixt rapture and despair" as you say. That's very sophisticated. Good work!

  • 10 years ago

    by Debbie

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  • 10 years ago

    by Gem

    "Yet lying on green
    pastures,
    I listened in placid glee
    with pensive thoughts
    resonating
    toward nature's
    unspoken melody."

    That was a beautiful stanza. And the way you ended the poem fitted perfectly. It came to a close gracefully and beautifully and allowed the reader to just sit back and collect their thoughts.
    I loved how it gave a little insight to the poets thoughts, just enough to let the reader know what was going on, but also allowing the reader to make thier own interpretations.
    Excellent!
    5/5
    *Gem*

  • 10 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    This is an excellent piece about nature, It is often a difficult topic to write about, but you handled it very nicely. amazing job with this write 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by chavii

    Such marvellous write,such beautiful imagery.it really takes readers to a virtual ride.Great job, the usage of words is amazing.

    Thanks a lot dear for your wonderful comment.

    Take care
    chavii.

  • 10 years ago

    by jason

    It is really good i love it, yeah im not good at comments but it is great

  • 10 years ago

    by S0u10fS0rr0w

    It never fails, all of your poems are great, this is a very good poem debs, love the imagery in it, i give it a 5/5!!! keep it up!!! sorry to hear bout ur account, im tryin to talk to some mods about it.

  • 10 years ago

    by Wallace

    Very good poem, really enjoyed it, keep up the good work. Check on my poems when you have the time.

    Best Wishes
    Wallace

  • 10 years ago

    by debbylyn

    Debbie, so glad you're back....I love reading all your poems and this one is no exception.

    Absolutely love the imagery and feel of the whole piece...

    O! How horrid Refrain
    shrieked within,
    like a tire raged by
    the orb of heaven;
    where oft I slipped
    into the gap
    'twixt rapture and despair.

    Awesome lines...love it! 5/5 Debbie

  • 10 years ago

    by carissalynn

    Just beautiful! nice job

  • 10 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    Excellent peice of wrk!!...loved this 1!!.........it's like sooo well done!...Imagery is great!
    Kp up de good job!
    xxPoojaxx

  • 10 years ago

    by BECCA lessTHANthree

    Wow.. this poem is really beautiful.. wonderful choice of words.. the flow is very poetic and calming.. well worded, its clear that you spent a lot of time on this one. keep it up :D

  • 10 years ago

    by Vanessa

    Beautifully written. Perfect flow, excellent word choice, deep emtion. I must say your choice of vocab draws me in everytime. excellent job well done, and I am adding you to my favs

  • 10 years ago

    by reJoyce

    Wow that is so deep and expressive, i wish i could write like that.

  • 10 years ago

    by So Wrong its Right

    You have such a great voabulary it is not even funny!!!! You would be great at this crazy vocab book i had in my english class. I am truly jealous about how well you can use words. You are truly an intelligent person. This was another success!! 5/5!!

  • 10 years ago

    by Boy

    Very touchy and truth. and i lvoed the way you have expreesed the things in this poem. that was amazingly written. offcourse you have great talent.
    Yet lying on green
    pastures,
    I listened in placid glee
    with pensive thoughts
    resonating
    toward nature's
    unspoken melody

    i loved this stanza most.
    i will must give you 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    "Yet lying on green
    pastures,
    I listened in placid glee
    with pensive thoughts
    resonating
    toward nature's
    unspoken melody."

    ^^So beautiful..i liked the atmosphere created and the choice of words painted a clear picture on my mind

    Well done..Great job!
    5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by nikki

    Wow. i loved it, it was so great. the flow was great and the wording was just beautifully written.
    this was my fave stanza. i love it
    In verdant prairies
    where boughs of calloused
    trees
    cast green shadows
    around me,
    gale wind wafted through
    leaves in such jocund
    harmony.
    you are such a good writer and i gave you a 5/5. it was awesome

  • 10 years ago

    by e LIZ a beth

    I liked this poem, and i especially liked how you used words that arent used in everyday life. but i think that it was a little played out. i mean i understood it fine. but i think that some of the words just seemed to forced like you wanted to make it very intelecutal sounding which is fine but i think that in some places simpler words would have fit better. and one more thing where you put "O!" it should have been "OH!"

    but all-in-all it was a very good write

  • 10 years ago

    by Debbie

    .