Comments : 3rd Degree

  • 16 years ago

    by honeypot

    Hi,

    I see you in the message forums and wanted to see some of your work. It s refreshing! You really have your own style, I thinkthat you words would sound great to music too - maybe rap?

    Keep up the good work, I will be reading more of your poetry :-)

    Honeypot x

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    Well Stephen I think this poem expressed a lot of emotion! I think you did a grand job at this poem. I loved it. The rhythm/flow was a tad off but that's alright your expression took away from that. This poem showed a great deal, of love.

    I need your face to be in peace,
    I need your being to be complete;
    I need your voice to sleep at night,
    so I can, once more, feel alive

    ^^ my favorite stanza I loved it and the flow was amazing and it all just fit perfectly! Nice job
    xoxo kaila

  • 16 years ago

    by Anonymous Angel

    Hey,
    a very creative and nice poem, you just use 'I' alot, but it doesn't bother me..
    well i comment alot of you poems today and i think that you're an amazing writer, you truly have talent, keep up the good work and good luck with everything =) 5/5
    kisses stephanie

  • 16 years ago

    by Amanda

    Hey.. this poem is amazing and i know, i can tell it comes from true life experience doesnt it? I am very happy to actually read something that comes from the heart. You are truly talented and i hope you take it with you always....

  • 16 years ago

    by Vanessa

    I bet this comes from something you actually went though. i almost feel this though your written words. the flow was good, nicely written, you have an amaxing talent, to put things in a way that most people wouldn't think of. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Simply Josh

    Damn poetry is a good way to express your feelings. I didn't find this odd at all and you wrote it beautifully. You described it so that we can picture in our minds your feelings. Great job
    cheers, josh

  • 16 years ago

    by BeautifulxMess

    Well done. Kinda hard to follow along with.
    The flow was a bit shaky. Well done though.
    Very powerful. God Bless 5/5
    <3tay(^__^)
    1/6->Poems

  • I can relate to this poem. very very true the words just flow. i think you have a real gift. great job!

  • 16 years ago

    by miranda

    I actually really like it...and i don't think its odd......i do want to kno where do u get all of the beautiful and meaningful words u use...do they just come to u or what???

  • 16 years ago

    by Tiffany

    I love it , it was amazing , you could feel the emotion behind the words .

  • 7 years ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Is it weird that some parts of this i saw as a possibility for a song. ?

    I'm breaking as you reduce me
    into a lonely heart.
    You don't even have a clue how bad this passion burns:
    [3rd degree]
    (my fantasy)
    my love, my lust, my yearn.
    Taking in this hope
    that maybe you, someday, will learn.

    ^^^^^^
    I saw this as a chorus, which could be repeated. something i think you should put a guitar too.

    • 7 years ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      Perhaps one day I'll have to learn how to play the guitar! It definitely is something that's been long overdue. I even bought that video game for my xbox one, Rock Smith or whatever it's called, so I can learn how to play. All I need now is to somehow acquire a guitar :P Probably will do that next year, and maybe I'll try to make this into a song!

      Thanks for reading, again :)

  • 7 years ago

    by Imperfection

    Really good poem so emotional well done