Comments : A Tear of Forgiveness

  • Well, to start off, I don't know why people wouldn't like your poetry, if it is anything like this one. I enjoyed reading it. I think my favorite stanzas were..

    "She controls time and space
    Voices whisper around her
    Muttering lies and words of betrayal
    She listens to the sound of the wind
    Blowing through a windchime 300 miles away
    No words could be spoken to break her

    A single expression, thoughtless expression
    Is strewn across her face
    As if she was stiff, still, a statue like figure
    Amongst the shadows she stands
    A single bloody tear drop falls from her eye
    Breaking the plain of a puddle under foot"

    It had an interesting message, but I thought it was deep. A few things could help it, such as periods. And some words changed a bit. But I thought as is was not too bad, anyhow, keep up the good work. 5/5
    -Ally

  • 16 years ago

    by XxMoonLightxX

    This is a really really good poem!
    It doesn't suck!...i liked it
    now start challenging yourself, add rhymes and a pattern to it

    thanks for reading and commenting on my poems!
    love,
    ~shannon~

  • 16 years ago

    by Mousie

    Well i don't know why you're saying everyone hates your writing, but i thought that was wonderful! i thought your wording was outstanding and the feeling you gave to the poem and the tone were deep and dark. i thought it was great, great flow and everything wonderful job 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Kayla

    Wow Unattractive, very very beautiful poem. I feel like I can relate to the girl in this, it's so dark.. I love it. And I love how you use your words in this poem, kept me wanting to read more and more. Too bad it had to end though *cry* Nice job!! Keep up the good work dear 5/5 <3

    ~Loveless Nights~

  • Wonderful poem.
    The flow was excellent and the word choices were good.

    'She controls time and space
    Voices whisper around her
    Muttering lies and words of betrayal
    She listens to the sound of the wind
    Blowing through a windchime 300 miles away
    No words could be spoken to break her'

    Loved it.
    Keep it up 5/5

    |Sarah|

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    I like it. Not many poems can do what you did here, which is, show me how the author was feeling, making it reate to myself almost. It was cool! I really enjoyed that

  • 16 years ago

    by Brittany C

    I really liked this poem. It was like a mix between fantasy and the world today. Keep up the great work. Your poem really is wonderful. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Vanessa

    Wow, really really beautiful. I have to say my favorite staza is
    'She controls time and space
    Voices whisper around her
    Muttering lies and words of betrayal
    She listens to the sound of the wind
    Blowing through a windchime 300 miles away
    No words could be spoken to break her'
    I love the way you write. You are descrtive, deep and full of emtion. This poem is one of the best. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by tyanna

    Wow..no complaints on this one!! Absolutely amazing!!! It was a bit 'dark' I guess you could say and I loved it!! Very descriptive and nice choice of words..Flow was great too..
    5/5
    tyanna

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    "She controls time and space
    Voices whisper around her
    Muttering lies and words of betrayal
    She listens to the sound of the wind
    Blowing through a windchime 300 miles away
    No words could be spoken to break her"
    ^ AMAZING! I loved that stanza. Especially " she listens...to...break her."

    You did a great job with this poem. If your others are the same, I don't see why people wouldn't want to read your poems.
    I think I'll stay caught up with yours, and maybe read a few before this. :]

    Keep it up, sweetie.
    <3

  • 16 years ago

    by David

    Oh gee. this was excellent. wat a great descriptive poem.

    5/5 David

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Wonderful poem, good choice of words... I really liked it. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by David

    Ah i agree with all the other members that have voted and say this is excellent and truly deserves a 5.

    5/5 David

  • 16 years ago

    by Finalgravedigger

    That was beautiful.

  • 16 years ago

    by Andrew

    Good job man 5/5!

  • 16 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    Wow, this was just an amazing work
    so much feelings, sadness , and emotion mixed up that created this great poem.

  • 16 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    Excellent poem!!!..lovely wrk!..
    "She controls time and space
    Voices whisper around her
    Muttering lies and words of betrayal
    She listens to the sound of the wind
    Blowing through a windchime 300 miles away
    No words could be spoken to break her.

    the stanza above is sooo...beautiful!!
    This is a superb peice of wrk!!...loved it!
    kp it up!
    xxPoojaxx

  • 16 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    I like the emotion in this and the story.
    Both were very strong and could be felt/ reconginzed thorughout the entire poem.
    Very strong.
    Nicely done.

    xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 5.5

  • 16 years ago

    by ashley

    O love this poem

  • 16 years ago

    by TotaMariee

    Beautiful. simply beautiful..

    xxx