Why I Hate Hospitals

I definitely like this a lot.

"Here sound is thin, weightless," - I like the image created here. What a rather unusual way to describe sound, eh? But I like it.

It's nice to see a poem that doesn't have a strict style, yet it's completely all over the place either.

Nice work.

Hey, I saw your post in the discussion boards... you said you wanted brutal honesty which, in my limited experience, has generally indicated mature writing. Just to warn you, your post will likely be deleted, because you ask for people to read your poems in a section that isn't "Ask for rates/comments" or whatever. But hey! You got one reader.

As for your poem. Mm. I like it. There are some nice, astute images here. "battles fought on simple plastic chairs" was particularly interesting, I thought. I also liked the first sentence - the unabashed expression of emotion catches the interest well.

Since you wanted brutality, there are a couple things that you could change or consider. I wasn't too sure about "in one particular encounter, I lost." I'm not sure exactly what I didn't like about it, but it stuck out to me. Maybe it was just coming from that particularly compelling line that preceded it. I also thought "as if for fear of death" was a little odd. Didn't you just imply that he -was- dying? Perhaps you meant it as in, he thought that holding tightly ontot he bed would keep him tied to life. If that were the case, I'd understand, but it was a little unclear.

Anyway. You're wide stretches above most of the talent on this site, which is why I felt safe in offering some actual criticism - you seem well suited to take it. I really liked this poem. The pictures it forms seem like ones with staying power. Good work! Hope you like p and q, and get some more poems up soon!

A place you don’t like…it was such a simple subject for a poem. And I wasn’t expecting such a simple thing to turn into sth as good as this. because most people seriously can’t do that.
You had talked about both your thoughts and the things that can be seen in each and every hospital. You had even mentioned how the sound is heard in there. and you had also talked about a particular time you had been there and the things that had happened. All these in just a short poem has left me with much respect to this piece and its author.
Oh and the last line was really witty too. I liked it :)